Halp R.I.P. Kiki the Middle Aged Stretched Anus Slave

Guises! I'm alive (for now)


Sooooooo while in Amsterdam I bought some weed grinders. They are gifts for my people back home.

Anyhooooo while going thru security in Dubai they pulled me aside as they found them in my bag going thru the X-ray machine.

Like these people knew exactly where to look and what to get!
Fucking ninjas!

Some Arab lady with the most evil look on her face was going thru my other stuff and she pulls out my tampons and OPENS THEM ALL -bitch in bleeeeeeding UGHHHHH

Then they asked me what the grinders were even tho they knew full well what they were and my flight was from AMS..
I just kept saying "souvenirs"
THANK GOD that the dude at the store told me to take pics of me buying the grinders and to keep the receipt which is the only thing that saved me from being held in prison for the next 45 years!

I was gonna bring some cannabis lollipops but the dude at the store was like NOOOO THE ARABS WILL STONE YOU TO DEATH!

Anyhoo the evil Arab lady who legit freighted the fuck out of me let me go.
And she said TAKE YOUR TAMPONS WITH YOU




So far I've slept for what seems like forever cuz this jet lag is groce and I haven't even left the condo yet.
 
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Guises! I'm alive (for now)


Sooooooo while in Amsterdam I bought some weed grinders. They are gifts for my people back home.

Anyhooooo while going thru security in Dubai they pulled me aside as they found them in my bag going thru the X-ray machine.

Like these people knew exactly where to look and what to get!
Fucking ninjas!

Some Arab lady with the most evil look on her face was going thru my other stuff and she pulls out my tampons and OPENS THEM ALL -bitch in bleeeeeeding UGHHHHH

Then they asked me what the grinders were even tho they knew full well what they were and my flight was from AMS..
I just kept saying "souvenirs"
THANK GOD that the dude at the store told me to take pics of me buying the grinders and to keep the receipt which is the only thing that saved me from being held in prison for the next 45 years!

I was gonna bring some cannabis lollipops but the dude at the store was like NOOOO THE ARABS WILL STONE YOU TO DEATH!

Anyhoo the evil Arab lady who legit freighted the fuck out of me let me go.
And she said TAKE YOUR TAMPONS WITH YOU




So far I've slept for what seems like forever cuz this jet lag is groce and I haven't even left the condo yet.
I'm glad you're alive, and those grinders will be great gifts. :)

Try melatonin before bed for the jet lag. I hate that feeling.
 
Guises! I'm alive (for now)


Sooooooo while in Amsterdam I bought some weed grinders. They are gifts for my people back home.

Anyhooooo while going thru security in Dubai they pulled me aside as they found them in my bag going thru the X-ray machine.

Like these people knew exactly where to look and what to get!
Fucking ninjas!

Some Arab lady with the most evil look on her face was going thru my other stuff and she pulls out my tampons and OPENS THEM ALL -bitch in bleeeeeeding UGHHHHH

Then they asked me what the grinders were even tho they knew full well what they were and my flight was from AMS..
I just kept saying "souvenirs"
THANK GOD that the dude at the store told me to take pics of me buying the grinders and to keep the receipt which is the only thing that saved me from being held in prison for the next 45 years!

I was gonna bring some cannabis lollipops but the dude at the store was like NOOOO THE ARABS WILL STONE YOU TO DEATH!

Anyhoo the evil Arab lady who legit freighted the fuck out of me let me go.
And she said TAKE YOUR TAMPONS WITH YOU




So far I've slept for what seems like forever cuz this jet lag is groce and I haven't even left the condo yet.
I'm glad you're alive, and those grinders will be great gifts. :)

Try melatonin before bed for the jet lag. I hate that feeling.
 
It's Tuesday morning and I haven't pooped since Friday morning in Toronto

O
M
G


Imma explode

CEO just left for work yay



Ps, Dubai is fucking insane like I can't even wrap my head around this place ... It's beyond luxurious and snobby!
It's like I'm home
Jk

I so don't belong here lol

Jk

Yes I do
 
It's Tuesday morning and I haven't pooped since Friday morning in Toronto

O
M
G


Imma explode

CEO just left for work yay



Ps, Dubai is fucking insane like I can't even wrap my head around this place ... It's beyond luxurious and snobby!
It's like I'm home
Jk

I so don't belong here lol

Jk

Yes I do
Having to dress so conservatively and no public intoxication or public displays of affection would get very old very quick for you. I'm glad to see you're still free!
 
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Having to dress so conservatively and no public intoxication or public displays of affection would get very old very quick for you. I'm glad to see you're still free!
The dinner is TONIGHT YO

anyways we drink in ice condo and obviously molest each other to no ends in condo!!
At the mall we held hands but didn't hug or kiss

We saw tons of women (white ofcourse ) dressed like jezebels! I was shocked. I found it disrespectful to the locals.
I've been very conservative and following the rules and traditions.
I wouldn't want someone coming to my country and disrespecting my culture so I'm here to respect theirs


The shit that trips me out is how high end everything is.
Like even my waiter at breakfast yesterday had a cheap low end Rolex on.
All the cars are crazy luxe and the rich women here are just out of my world.

The taxis and even school buses are sick with tinted windows etc

There are like 46373738 kajillion Philippinoezzzz here. Like every other person is from the Philippines
Someone described them as the "Mexicans of the USA".

They work for peanuts and are EVERYWHERE

I have used my Spanish a lot more than I ever imagined. Especially in Amsterdam ... CEO was like FAAAK I CANT ESCAPE YOUR PEOPLE lol

We've only gotten into one argument and that was only cuz his annoying exWife kept calling about something back home


Otherwise we good.

Dinner tonight. Spa day for me while he's out making moolah
 
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oh also....

You can Uber a chopper here


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Meh I think it's gonna be ok.
We are having an amazing time.
I love him so much. He's been taking really good care of me.
What an awesome trip to be able to share, tbh. It's like another world there. So great that your Spanish is coming in handy, especially to exasperate CEO.

What are you wearing to the big dinner?