Are you an asshole?
Here's a story form about 10 years ago when I had a lot less restraint and a much higher threshold for liquor and other assorted intoxicants. I would like to hear about mean things you people have done in your lives after you read this.
We went to Universal in Orlando many moons ago and hopped on the Jaws ride on which there was a little ankle biter in the row ahead of us on the boat losing his shit over the fact that there was a manic shark attacking us. By "we" I mean my hot, functioanlly retarded girlfriend of the time and 4 of my drunk friends who had, upon my secret signal, infiltrated our little romantic getaway.
So, back to the 4 year old on Jaws...I'm laughing hysterically at this kid's inability to process all of the shit that's careening towards him and I decide to snap a picture of his little, pink panic-laden face. This launches a tyrade from his mother who starts asking me what kind of terrible person is amused by a small child's pain. Her response prompts me to lay into her about her awful decision-making as a parent: "Who would subject the fruit of their loins to a 20 foot shark attack and intense fire?!?!" (If you've never been on the ride, the shark, replete with huge, bloody teeth is chasing this little boat around and there's a point during which Jaws breaks an oil derrick or something and there's a controlled jet of ignited gas aimed near the boat which gives off quite a bit if heat.)
At this point I realize that she and I are not going to see eye to eye on this issue and my drunk friends are starting to get in the action and they focus less stress on the importance of a point (or at least the manufacture of such) and more stress on just being loud and abrasive. It's at this juncture that I realize that we are the only ones enjoying this whole spectacle and that we've probably ruined the day for 8 or so others on the boat. With this in mind I also realize that it's highly probable that the Universal Studios rent-a-cop drunk police will be hot on our heels in the near future.
The ride ends and we quickly debark under the hot, watchful eyes of a bunch of disapproving parents and we scurry off to the Irish pub where we can blend in with others of our ilk. This is when and where I first drank a yard of Guinness, which was exactly what I needed.
Here's a story form about 10 years ago when I had a lot less restraint and a much higher threshold for liquor and other assorted intoxicants. I would like to hear about mean things you people have done in your lives after you read this.
We went to Universal in Orlando many moons ago and hopped on the Jaws ride on which there was a little ankle biter in the row ahead of us on the boat losing his shit over the fact that there was a manic shark attacking us. By "we" I mean my hot, functioanlly retarded girlfriend of the time and 4 of my drunk friends who had, upon my secret signal, infiltrated our little romantic getaway.
So, back to the 4 year old on Jaws...I'm laughing hysterically at this kid's inability to process all of the shit that's careening towards him and I decide to snap a picture of his little, pink panic-laden face. This launches a tyrade from his mother who starts asking me what kind of terrible person is amused by a small child's pain. Her response prompts me to lay into her about her awful decision-making as a parent: "Who would subject the fruit of their loins to a 20 foot shark attack and intense fire?!?!" (If you've never been on the ride, the shark, replete with huge, bloody teeth is chasing this little boat around and there's a point during which Jaws breaks an oil derrick or something and there's a controlled jet of ignited gas aimed near the boat which gives off quite a bit if heat.)
At this point I realize that she and I are not going to see eye to eye on this issue and my drunk friends are starting to get in the action and they focus less stress on the importance of a point (or at least the manufacture of such) and more stress on just being loud and abrasive. It's at this juncture that I realize that we are the only ones enjoying this whole spectacle and that we've probably ruined the day for 8 or so others on the boat. With this in mind I also realize that it's highly probable that the Universal Studios rent-a-cop drunk police will be hot on our heels in the near future.
The ride ends and we quickly debark under the hot, watchful eyes of a bunch of disapproving parents and we scurry off to the Irish pub where we can blend in with others of our ilk. This is when and where I first drank a yard of Guinness, which was exactly what I needed.
when people take the elevator for one floor... are you that freaking lazy?