Hawt Pooping rituals

Surprisingly, you don't wind up leaving a lot of smear. The power with which those toilets flush and run water over the shelf is damned impressive. That was my biggest fear when I first saw the thing but after my first poop I wasn't worried anymore. It was the smell that you had to worry about. Dizzying.

great... so you only have to worry water powered flying fecal matter.
 
My cat has this weird obsession with laying down on the floor mat at my feet when I'm dropping a deuce. It's regular as clockwork. I typically only bomb once a day, first thing in the morning when I wake up. I go in, she follows, and curls up at my feet, and, without me even doing anything, begins this loud ass purring like she couldn't be happier than to be around me when I poo....

Her ritual is far more odd than mine.