Ontopic Parenting v. acceptable entertainment

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
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As some of you know my boyfriends kids are 11 and 12yr old boys. Now when they come we're pretty :eek: about what films we let them watch etc. but I just want to gauge opinions. I'm hard pushed to let them watch 15's but I think I might be being too harsh. When I was that age I remember watching tons of slasher films etc. but it's totally put me off horror for life and I don't want that to happen to them. As for books I let the 12yr old have one of my fantasy books and r*pe is mentioned in it and I had to explain what it was all about, the boyfriend was like 'uhhh is that an appropriate book?'. Far as I'm concerned any book is appropriate but that's because I was reading any kind of novel from a young age, it's no worse than turning on the news imo.

Is this a double standard and am I too uptight?

As a side note we went to see Meet the Little Fockers or whatever it's called and they kept saying dildo's and sex and stuff and the man was like 'omg this isn't right, this isn't right'. Made me lol.
 

Coqui

Piccolo Pete
Oct 14, 2004
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Honestly at 11 or 12, I think they're too young to experience death (in a graphical sense not like OMG Bambi's dad got shot but you never see it) Obviously by then, someone they know will have experienced death. Regarding sex, I think at that point it's fine to have movies with kissing and things like that, but the full blown sex (whether nudity is shown or not) is a little too young. 13 I would feel more comfortable getting closer to that level.
 

OzSTEEZ

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Nov 11, 2008
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Age has nothing to do with it. It's just a meter that organizations use to lay policies on mass amount of people. When dealing with your own children, judge by their ability to understand what they see. I have no problem letting me 6 year old see boobies on the TV. Nothing is wrong with boobs. Graphic violence is something that I judge case by case, and when I do decide that he can view graphical violence, then I make sure the visuals are accommodated with an understanding of what is really happening.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
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Age has nothing to do with it. It's just a meter that organizations use to lay policies on mass amount of people. When dealing with your own children, judge by their ability to understand what they see. I have no problem letting me 6 year old see boobies on the TV. Nothing is wrong with boobs. Graphic violence is something that I judge case by case, and when I do decide that he can view graphical violence, then I make sure the visuals are accommodated with an understanding of what is really happening.

Very good point. I'd say for 11 and 12 they're very immature and niave compared to what I remember of myself at the same age. Perhaps because they're boys and mature slower.
 

Coqui

Piccolo Pete
Oct 14, 2004
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Age has nothing to do with it. It's just a meter that organizations use to lay policies on mass amount of people. When dealing with your own children, judge by their ability to understand what they see. I have no problem letting me 6 year old see boobies on the TV. Nothing is wrong with boobs. Graphic violence is something that I judge case by case, and when I do decide that he can view graphical violence, then I make sure the visuals are accommodated with an understanding of what is really happening.

Agreed 100%. My post was based off of how I assume he will be (obviously since I have no real basis to how he can perceive things by the time he's that old. Granted I personally saw someone get shot in real life when I was 9 years old, so my view is a little skewed.
 

OzSTEEZ

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like age with maturity, sex also has nothing to do with it. They are probably immature because they have never been pushed towards maturity due to either lifestyle, community, parenting, etc. This is fine though, as there is certainly no requirement from the general society for a 12 year old to be mature.
 

OzSTEEZ

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I was watching the movie "The American" (Great movie btw) the other day, and my son came and sat down with me and started watching. Even though people were being shot, and there was also a sex scene with boobies being shown, I never even thought of making him leave. From me constantly explaining to him every other time, he understands that the movie is just acting and the violence is fake.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

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Liam I think with me it's more like they WANT to watch violent films and because of their age I'd feel patronising explaining anything to them, they probably already know, they just have a very immature perception of it because they can't understand the implications of certain actions etc. I dunno.
 

OzSTEEZ

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Liam I think with me it's more like they WANT to watch violent films and because of their age I'd feel patronising explaining anything to them, they probably already know, they just have a very immature perception of it because they can't understand the implications of certain actions etc. I dunno.

Parents just need to decide what's best for their children regardless of what other people say. Just blindly shepherding them from all violent media is just as bad as blindly allowing access to violent media.
 

JAXvillain

Curly_Sue
Oct 13, 2004
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I was actually watching it earlier than that even :fly:
neighbor/buddy's dad had a HUGE stash
 

plot

Morning Boehner
Oct 16, 2006
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We had cinemax always as a kid.. As I got older I had a buddy who's dad had a massive playboy collection. By twelve or so the internet was in an upward swing and anything could be found even in the mid 90s in an aol chat room.
 

OzSTEEZ

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Every Thursday night around 2200-2230 on free OTA TV in Denmark they play hardcore porn. I don't see their youth all fucked up.

Stupid religious influences..