Oh MY! ????

JJ Lady

Flaccid Member
Oct 26, 2004
Savannah, GA
Who thought of this?



Your Essence Saved For All Eternity!

We are only just now unlocking all the mysteries surrounding DNA and the genetic code. When it's all figured out we'll have better medicines, preventable diseases, DNA computers, and even clone-your-dog vending machines at the local pet mart. Since it hasn't all been figured out yet, it's even possible that the future of the entire human race depends on the eternal existence of your specific DNA profile! You may just be The One. It's unlikely, but heck, so were 56k modems at one point. Just in case though, it's going to be important for you to preserve your DNA for future generations. And you can do it with this DNA Immortality kit all in the comfort of your own home.

Taking your DNA sample is as easy and painless as brushing your teeth, your DNA does not need to be sent away - you just follow the simple instructions and keep your DNA in a safe place for the future. However, your DNA Immortality kit also contains components that allow you to send for a snapshot profile of your DNA if you choose. This snapshot gives you a glimpse of your DNA code without revealing any of the scary stuff. And if you are further inclined, you can even send a portion of your DNA kit away and have a one-of-a-kind Tshirt made using your specific DNA fingerprint.

If you don't think it's worthwhile to preserve your DNA for yourself - think about future generations! Someday every kid on the block will have one of those little hand-held scanners like Doctor "Bones" McCoy on Star Trek. And they'll be able to get a glimpse of what it was like to be you without all the personal hang-ups and emotional baggage you carry now. So, in effect, you are giving the gift of information to your future progeny by just forking up some saliva.

Each DNA Immotality Tin Includes:

16-page introductory booklet to DNA entitled One of a Kind
A set of clear, step-by-step instructions on how to use your DNA storage and profiling kits
A DNA storage kit containing:
1 x CATGee storage card**
1 x sterile foam-tipped applicator
1 x self-sealing airtight pouch containing desiccant bag
1 x pair of disposable gloves
A DNA profiling kit containing:
2 x sterile foam-tipped applicators
1 x paper holding envelope
1 x prepaid return label
1 x self-sealing plastic return mailer

Unless you have an identical twin, no other person ever had or ever will have the same DNA as you. Your DNA is the ultimate statement of individuality. Remember this during the Clone Wars of 2045.


Can't I just pee into an Eternity bottle or something? I mean...that's pretty much my essence preserved for eternity right there.