I like some different kinds of wine but none of them super sweet.
The old lady likes merlot, that's it. She really likes merlot but forget about trying to pair different wines with different foods and stuff, just everything merlot.
She's not a big drinker. Merlot, Bloody Mary, or Margarita, that's about it. Low tolerance too so cheap date, unless weed and enchiladas are involved.
This one time many years ago not long after we first met she showed up at this bar I used to go drink at after work with a couple other ironworkers on our crew. Real shithole dive. The bartenders face looked like it got ran over by a truck but she had a great ass.
So the old lady comes in and sees this ass bent over digging some beers out of a cooler or something and she's like, "oh I see why you come here" and I'm like, "just give it a minute", then the chick turns around and the old lady damn near flew backwards off her stool out of some combination of fear and surprise.
So she starts slamming bud lights or something showing us she could hang with the guys, drinking them way faster than she could feel them and I knew what was coming. So after a few of these they started kicking in and she started looking sickly and I'm like hey we need to go outside and get some air.
Her, "no I'm fine".
Me, "no come on let's just go hang out by the truck for a bit, we'll come back in in a little bit".
So I get her outside and it's really catching up with her so I tell her she needs to puke that stuff up or its really gonna hurt later and she's like no I don't have to throw up and I'm like oh yes you do and I bent her over and shoved my finger down her throat and made her throw up (for her own good mind you) and she had drank so fast the beer coming out of her stomach, flowing over my hand, was still cold!
Anyway the rest of the night went fairly well and later on she thanked me for doing that.
It's one of our little things we'll bring up or joke about once in awhile, how the beer was still cold, and the butterface bartender.
That place hasn't been there for a long time. Got tore down to make way for a new highway interchange/expansion.
