I really don't want people to bother me when I'm mourning. No I don't want a hug or talk about it. Just give me some space.
mourning a loss
- Thread starter ruthless
- Start date
I lost my grandmother on Saturday night. It was very sudden. Most of my thoughts are currently about how lucky I am to have known all of my grandparents and two of my greatgrandparents. Then my thoughts turn to hurrying up and having a family so that our kids can get to know our parents and our remaining grandparents.
Funny you should say that, I had the same thoughts last night. Like how if I dont have kids how much that would hurt my parents. Wierd that you had the same thoughts, kinda nice to hear. Now strap droolio down and get to baby makin
Also something I have thought about. I wish my kids, if that happens, would have been able to meet my grandparents.
Unfortunately, I only have one grandmother left and she isn't in the greatest health. Patty still has two grandmothers remaining. One in Ohio and one in Arizona. The one in Ohio isn't in too bad a shape and the one in Arizona just sent us a picture of her and her new boyfriend. If we had a kid ASAP, they probably would never be old enough to remember our grandmothers.
i get wierd and hide...or at least used to. the boy snapped me out of that pretty good this year.
it's bizarre, the time when i feel the most religious and spiritual is when i lose someone close to me. i think it's reaffirmation of my faith that there is an afterlife and it is better for some/most of the people i've lost. that's my starting point for solace.
it's bizarre, the time when i feel the most religious and spiritual is when i lose someone close to me. i think it's reaffirmation of my faith that there is an afterlife and it is better for some/most of the people i've lost. that's my starting point for solace.
I always push things away and deal with it later when I'm by myself. Being 3rd generation military I can't ever remember seeing my Grandfather or Father mourn about anything. I've just been raised that you complete you mission and don't let things get in the way. You can always deal with it later. I know this is a bad way to deal with things but alot of times when you have bad stuff happen mourning is only going to get in the way.
eileenbunny
Druish Princess
I suppose I'm the opposite of a lot of you. When someone dies that I'm close to I try to surround myself with my friends and family. I might not even talk to them, but just knowing that they are there is a comfort to me. It always makes me appreciate what I still do have. Sharing memories of the person who has passed is important to me too. When my dad died, I was amazed and touched to hear how he effected other people. To date, that has been the most difficult death for me to deal with. It's been over 2 years and I still think about him every single day. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile, but I always miss him. There isn't a lot I can do about it, but I try now to live my life in a way that would make him proud.
I am sort of like you Eileen. When my dad died, the first thing I did was call friends and talk. Yes, I told them my dad died and we talked about him and how I was feeling, but we just talked. That is how I process things is by vocalizing. I cna not think things out in my head and come to a solid solution, I need to "talk it out".
Also, someone mentioned they were in denial then anger then acceptance...that is totally normal and is needed. I think there is something like 5 steps or is it 7 (no it is NOT 12.
) We need to go through the steps of mourning in order to move on and let go, no matter how hard it may be.
Also, someone mentioned they were in denial then anger then acceptance...that is totally normal and is needed. I think there is something like 5 steps or is it 7 (no it is NOT 12.
) We need to go through the steps of mourning in order to move on and let go, no matter how hard it may be.i still remember the night that my friend called to say her husband, our friend, had died. i remember my brain freezing and i kept saying, "you're lying, you're lying." i don't know how long we were on the phone together like that, just crying and me calling her a liar.
mourning is a strange and fascinating thing. part of my mourning was an obsession of heath's decomposing body. that was very surprising to me. i guess it was part of the process, although i don't know which step it falls under.
mourning is a strange and fascinating thing. part of my mourning was an obsession of heath's decomposing body. that was very surprising to me. i guess it was part of the process, although i don't know which step it falls under.
I mostly just cry a lot. Like, a lot. I'm over-emotional as it is, friggin TV shows can make me cry, so when something happens for real, I'm just a mess. And it sucks when you just want to crawl in a hole and cry and cry and not come out for years, but you know you need to be strong for someone else. My best friend's mother died last year; she'd always been like my second mom, I went to her house every day after school for at least 10 years, so it was pretty hard on me. I still felt like I had to be strong for my friend, though. Yes, she was LIKE a second mom to me, but she really WAS her mom. I just did my best to be there for her, and that helped me, too.
Dream, yeah, the 5 stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Dream, yeah, the 5 stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Also something I have thought about. I wish my kids, if that happens, would have been able to meet my grandparents.
Would they be pissed that the kid is black?