Mormons Invade!

C

CletusJones

CUCKGBLR
Oct 15, 2004
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It's official, mormons are the root of all evil. They've even turned to cannibalism when food is scarce. Maybe that's why they have all those children/wives.

KNYTE, is that how this really works? Do they make you sign a waiver to become Mormon? Would you eat kiwi if she was the only source of food available?

Associated Press said:
Study: Mormon Crickets Invade to Survive

By Associated Press
Published April 25, 2006, 4:46 PM CDT

RENO, Nev. -- The threat of being eaten could drive the march of Mormon crickets as they munch their way across millions of acres in the arid West, new research suggests.

An international group of researchers has been studying the crickets that have invaded much of Nevada, Utah and Idaho in recent years.

They found that the insects that move in large bands survive on salt and protein found in seeds, flowers, dead animals and feces. But when those food sources are absent, the bugs turn to what's available -- each other. The crickets themselves are "walking packages of protein and salt," the study said.

"We suspect that they also move more because of the chance of being eaten," said Patrick Lorch, a research biologist with Kent State University.

"You can imagine that if you are at the back of a band of 1 million marching crickets, there is little food left and the cricket in front of you starts to look mighty tasty," Lorch told the Reno Gazette-Journal.

Crickets slowed by injury are particularly vulnerable to being eaten by their brethren, researchers found.

Lorch was among researchers from the United States, England and Australia that conducted the study, published recently by the National Academies of Science.

Also known as flightless katydids, Mormon crickets can destroy 40 percent to 50 percent of the vegetation in their path. About 12 million acres were infested by the insects last year in Nevada.

Lorch said it's uncertain whether the danger of being eaten from behind really motivates the crickets at the head of the column to step up the pace. The insects are not cognizant, but the danger could be hard wired into their tiny brains, he said.

"We don't honestly know if they move faster than they would because of the fear of being eaten," Lorch said. "But that's the sort of thing we imagine is going on."

Copyright © 2006, The Associated Press
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CletusJones said:
It's official, mormons are the root of all evil. They've even turned to cannibalism when food is scarce. Maybe that's why they have all those children/wives.
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When the great famine comes all ya'll suckas are gonna wish you had our eating habits.

CANNIBALISM 4 EVAR!

CletusJones said:
Would you eat kiwi if she was the only source of food available?
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*Insert cunnilingus reference
 
HEEEEY GUUUYS!!!!

It's that time again!!! Time to remember all the wives of Utah's most FAMOUS Mormon MR. BRIGHAM YOUNG!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

AND NOW FOR THE LIST!

Miriam Work 1824 (2 children), included in his will.
Mary Ann Angell 1834 (6 children), in will.
Lucy A. Decker (Seeley) 1842 (7 children), in will.
Harriet E. Cook (Campbell) 1843 (1 child), in will.
Lucy Augusta Adams (Cobb) 1843 (no children), requested cancellation of her sealing 1846, sealed by proxy to Joseph Smith 1848, from 1850 onward asked Brigham Young to give her to various men in civil marriage but still included in will.
Clarissa C. Decker 1844 (5 children), in will.
Clarissa Ross-Chase 1844 (4 children), in will.
Louisa Beaman (Smith) 1844 (5 children).
Zina D. Huntington (Jacobs, Smith) 1844 (1 child), in will.
Emily D. Partridge (Smith) 1844 (7 children), in will. (daughter of Edward Partridge)
Eliza R. Snow (Smith) 1844 (no children), in will.
*Elizabeth Fairchild 1844 (no children), divorced 1855.
*Clarissa Blake 1844 (no children).
*Rebecca W. Greenleaf Holman 1844 (no children).
*Diana Chase 1844 (no children), separated about 1848, remarried 1849.
Maria Lawrence (Smith) 1844 (no children), separated 1845, remarried 1846.
Susannah Snively 1844 (no children), in will.
Olive G. Frost (Smith) 1844 (no children).
*Mary A. Clark (Powers) 1845 (no children), divorced 1851.
*Mary Harvey Pierce 1845 (no children).
Margrette W. Pierce (Whitesides) 1845 (1 child), in will.
*Rhoda Richards (Smith) 1845 (no children). (she was Young's 1st cousin)
Emmeline Free 1845 (10 children), in will. (former fiance of John D. Lee, her sister Louisa married Lee).
Mary E. Rollins (Lightner, Smith) 1845 (no children), remained with legal husband yet considered herself deserted by Brigham Young 1846.
Margaret Maria Alley 1845 (2 children), in will.
*Mary Ann Turley 1845 (no children), divorced 1851.
*Olive Andrews (Smith) 1846 (no children).
*Emily Haws (Chesley, Whitmarsh) 1846 (no children), separated 1848.
Ellen A. V. Rockwood 1846 (no children).
*Abigail Marks (Works) 1846 (no children).
*Mary E. Nelson (Greene) 1846 (no children).
*Mary E. de la Montague (Woodward) 1846 (no children), divorced and returned to legal husband 1847, then returned to Brigham Young 1851.
*Amy C. Cooper 1846 (no children).
*Julia Foster (Hampton) 1846 (no children), separated 1846, married another man, returned to Brigham Young 1855 only to leave him bitterly later.
*Abigail Harback (Hall) 1846 (no children), returned to legal husband 1846.
Naamah K. J. Carter (Twiss) 1846 (no children), obtained cancellation of her sealing by 1871, anointed to deceased first husband but still included in will.
*Nancy Cressy (Walker) 1846 (no children).
*Eliza Babcock 1846-53 (no children), divorced 1853.
*Jane Terry (Tarbox, Young) 1847.
Mary J. Bigelow 1847 (no children), divorced 1851.
Lucy Bigelow 1847 (3 children), in will.
*Sarah M. Guckin (Malin) 1848 (no children).
Eliza Burgess 1852 (1 child), in will.
*Mary Oldfield (Kelsey) 1852 (no children).
*Catherine Resse (Clawson, Egan) 1855 (no children).
Harriet E. Barney (Sagers) 1856 (1 child), in will.
Harriet Amelia Folsom 1863 (no children), in will.
Mary Van Cott (Cobb) 1865 (1 child), in will. (Daughter of John Van Cott)
Ann Eliza Webb (Dee) 1868 (no children), divorced 1875; her story was fictionalized in Irving Wallace's 1962 novel The Twenty-Seventh Wife.
*Elizabeth Jones (Lewis, Jones) 1869 (no children).
*Lydia Farnsworth (Mayhew) 1870 (no children).
*Hannah Tapfield (King) 1872 (no children).

AWESOME
 
If this were a shirt, I would wear it often

brighan_pimp.JPG
 
Drool-Boy said:
godammit boy pay attention once in a while and youll come of as way less st00pid than you do now.
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Oh for the love of christ, he's a gun crazy freak. How the bloody hell was I supposed to know? Remember, I'm not part of this little circle jerk yet. I know nothing about any of you. So go lick jelly out of my ass. :drool:
 
djduquet said:
Oh for the love of christ, he's a gun crazy freak. How the bloody hell was I supposed to know? Remember, I'm not part of this little circle jerk yet. I know nothing about any of you. So go lick jelly out of my ass. :drool:
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well aside from his sig....

and how does gun crazy freak preclude mormonism?



edit> wasnt browning a mormon?
 
Last edited:
thrawn said:
well aside from his sig....

and how does gun crazy freak preclude mormonism?



edit> wasnt browning a mormon?
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when someone is in love with guns, mormonism does not come to mind. Remeber, I was born and raised in the south. It just means white trash, rusted pickups, and gun racks.
 
Drool-Boy said:
You are doing nothing for the appearance of your douchebaggery, sir.
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Am I going to be nameraped to djdouchebag again? Fucking Mormonism.
 
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