Money vs Family

Floptical

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Sep 1, 2006
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So here's the deal. I think I'm having my mid midlife crisis. I'm at the point in my life that I'm trying to weigh out the benefits of money and family. I'm currently living in Tampa and making a very very good amount on money in my job. The issue I'm having is that all of my family is in other locations. A majority of my family is in New England and my parents are in KS. It's difficult to spend much of my vacation time in either location. I'm starting to feel guilty that I don't see them everyday. I really do wish that I could be next to them but I find it hard to move next to them and adjust my lifestyle. Do you think it's better to have a job where you are making lots of money or one that you are able to see your family every day? Now I know that I could relocate to either on of the areas to be next to family but I know I wouldn't be able to make what I'm making now. Any thoughts or experiences in this area?
 
I make more than enough to make regular weekend trips but it's just not the same. It's not like flying into Tampa and driving 10 minutes and being there. My New England family is about 2 hours from the airport and my KS family is like 4. It's hard to do a decent weekend trip with that. Plus being here I always find a reason to not go there on the weekends. As much as I would love to be there I can always find something to keep me from not going. I worry more as my parents and grandparents get older. I know I'm limited time with most of them but yet being in Tampa it's out of site out of mind for me. That's why I feel bad.
 
Edit: Nvm, was thinking of extended family like cousins and grandparents and stuff.
 
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Im sure there are other things than just family vs. money? Moving to another state is a complete change of scenery, job, friends etc.

That's the thing. I've been moving every 4 years or so for my entire life so the whole moving for a change has lost its luster. I guess I'm just worrying about not being next to my family as they get older and eventually die. I just wonder is it better for mini flop to be next to her family or be away but have a much better live style. Is a weekend trip enough? I'm just having one of those moments I guess.
 
Well, I thought seeing my extended family was great as a kid. We drove/flew/took a boat every summer to visit for a couple weeks. Cause we did the whole move every 2-4 years thing. It was a treat.

These days, I live near them, really dont have a whole lot to do with them. This definitely isnt universal but my family is huge and meh, there are ongoing fights over land and business stuff which make it partisan.
 
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Well, I thought seeing my extended family was great as a kid. We drove/flew/took a boat every summer to visit for a couple weeks. Cause we did the whole move every 2-4 years thing. It was a treat.

These days, I live near them, really dont have a whole lot to do with them. This definitely isnt universal but my family is huge and meh, there are ongoing fights over land and business stuff which make it partisan.

Very true for me being distant I don't have to deal with any family issues at all. Anytime I do show up it's always a fun time with now drama so that's a huge plus there.
 
i think you are answering your own question. you seem to really favor/desire/miss the family connection...why? what is that telling you? where is that putting the money?

what would you regret more, you think? lost time with family or loss of a very comfortable lifestyle? what do you think you'd feel ok doing without? or trying to compensate for?

do you think moving to be with family would satiate this unease with yourself? imagine being settled by family, with family. a year down the road -- what do you see? what are your expectations if you were to move to your family? are they reasonable? if they were met, would you find peace?

is this something you've been debating about for a while? i'm sorry to hear you're struggling with something so big. :heart: i hope you can dig a bit within and find the answers you either know are there or can be found to help you find peace. :heart:
 
It's nothing that's like big or takes up a huge amount of my time. I just sometimes wonder if it would be better for me and mini flop by being next to family.
 
There is a lot to be said for family. Once they're gone you will never, ever, ever see them again. Ever.

But do what's right for you.
 
I'm just one of those people who get anxious every now and then for change. I was always so used to moving around 3 years or so now that I've separated from the government I'm not sure how to take being in one place for so long. On top on the fact that I kinda of fell into the career I'm in. I've never really been a huge fan on IT work and it's never been my passion or what I really wanted to do with my life. The government just kinda of pushed me in that direction while I was in the military and now I have a commercial job in that field that more that meets my financial needs. I just get bored with it alot. I know most people don't really like their jobs and that's just part of life. But my question is does it really have to be that way.
 
I'm the same way. Every year and a half I start looking for another job even though I know I don't need one. I just crave that change of scenery.
 
It's crazy because I know damn well everytime I visit my family I'm bored to death after 1 day or so but for some reason I have a desire to be next to them. I know if I left my current job I would probably kick myself in the ass but I could just as easy walk away from it tomorrow for some BS job near my family or a job doing something I wanted to do.
 
If you were not a dad I would say stay here and do your thing, chicken wing.

Since you have your daughter to raise, family is a huge deal. It's no longer about you, it's about her and having those memories of what family really is - that she needs in the long run.

It takes a village to raise a child.
 
I think you would be unhappy if you were making less money. And its not just about you and miniflop you have to factor in the chick, Kansas is a hard ticket to sell.