Mississippi Residents Reel From Smokeless Tobacco Shortage
Skoal Reports Heavy Losses, Copenhagen Files For Chapter 11
Biloxi, Mississippi – Local gunshop owners sat in front of a local Piggly Wiggly, hoisting a carton of Skoal to a makeshift tower in the parking lot. Holding a Remington shotgun and a megaphone, Bob Hampton of Shubuta tells the crowd, “The next group of you <expletive> steals from the Piggly, you get buckshot in the backside! I ain’t <expletive> ya!”
The devastation of Hurricane Katrina can still be felt around small towns in Mississippi, as a sudden shortage of smokeless tobacco and Natural Light beer has left the state panicked. Governor Haley Barbour declared a state of emergency on television late Sunday night, pleading for an end to the crisis that has left local shops torn apart and local residents scouring the trailers for half-full spit bottles.
The storm is blamed for at least 68 deaths and over 375,000 empty bottom lips. Mississippi officials said at least 55 people were killed in barroom brawling over stocks of Natural Light and Miller High Life, including 30 who were killed in an apartment complex near the Biloxi beach after a gun battle broke out over a supply of Copenhagen Long Cut. Alabama reported two deaths, but they were black. The storm killed 11 people last week when it made its initial landfall in Florida.
A man in Biloxi told CNN affiliate WKRG-TV he believed his wife was killed after she was ripped from his grasp when their trailer home was raided by local hooligans searching for smokeless tobacco.
"I held her hand as tight as I could," the man said. "She told me, Git the Rooster Long Cut, Jimmy.' She told me to take care of the kids and that tube of Rooster ... we ain't got nowhere to go. I'm lost. That's all I had."
Added the man, “You got a bottle or some shit?”
The Federal Emergency Management Agency is preparing to distribute "at least tens of thousands of boxes of Nicorette ... for literally months on end," the agency's director, Michael Brown, said Monday night. But Govenor Barbour believes that the patch alone will not prevent further violence, and has asked neighboring states to “give up a pinch” for their Southern brethren.
“This is the worst ever,” said Barbour between spits. “This is our Dale Earnhardt.”
Sorry, had to break it out. See if it was still fresh. Please continue.
edit:// thanks to elpmis for getting me to write it.
Skoal Reports Heavy Losses, Copenhagen Files For Chapter 11
Biloxi, Mississippi – Local gunshop owners sat in front of a local Piggly Wiggly, hoisting a carton of Skoal to a makeshift tower in the parking lot. Holding a Remington shotgun and a megaphone, Bob Hampton of Shubuta tells the crowd, “The next group of you <expletive> steals from the Piggly, you get buckshot in the backside! I ain’t <expletive> ya!”
The devastation of Hurricane Katrina can still be felt around small towns in Mississippi, as a sudden shortage of smokeless tobacco and Natural Light beer has left the state panicked. Governor Haley Barbour declared a state of emergency on television late Sunday night, pleading for an end to the crisis that has left local shops torn apart and local residents scouring the trailers for half-full spit bottles.
The storm is blamed for at least 68 deaths and over 375,000 empty bottom lips. Mississippi officials said at least 55 people were killed in barroom brawling over stocks of Natural Light and Miller High Life, including 30 who were killed in an apartment complex near the Biloxi beach after a gun battle broke out over a supply of Copenhagen Long Cut. Alabama reported two deaths, but they were black. The storm killed 11 people last week when it made its initial landfall in Florida.
A man in Biloxi told CNN affiliate WKRG-TV he believed his wife was killed after she was ripped from his grasp when their trailer home was raided by local hooligans searching for smokeless tobacco.
"I held her hand as tight as I could," the man said. "She told me, Git the Rooster Long Cut, Jimmy.' She told me to take care of the kids and that tube of Rooster ... we ain't got nowhere to go. I'm lost. That's all I had."
Added the man, “You got a bottle or some shit?”
The Federal Emergency Management Agency is preparing to distribute "at least tens of thousands of boxes of Nicorette ... for literally months on end," the agency's director, Michael Brown, said Monday night. But Govenor Barbour believes that the patch alone will not prevent further violence, and has asked neighboring states to “give up a pinch” for their Southern brethren.
“This is the worst ever,” said Barbour between spits. “This is our Dale Earnhardt.”
Sorry, had to break it out. See if it was still fresh. Please continue.
edit:// thanks to elpmis for getting me to write it.