Manscapers Anonymous

I fell in with a gent from Sumatra who demonstrated to me his village's rare species of hair consuming ants. Capable of removing all traces of hair in a matter of seconds, provided you slather the area you wish to be pruned with oil from the Rafflesia arnoldii flower, most other things I am told provoke the ants into consuming the flesh as well - including soap.

It's wise to not bathe for several days before utilising the ants.