From another board:
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
Some highlights that I have found so far:
Genesis 1
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.
Genesis 6
1 An when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urth, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let dem masturbate.
2 An teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov mens wer rly hot An sexy; An dey sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" An dey had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it wuznt inventd yet.
13 An Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urth cuz teh urth has mor evilz An vilents then WoW An grand theft auto. so im gonna pwnz tehm An teh whole urths. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz. i should haev kept it in Beta longr
An inventd mcafee An nortonz An stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz An viruses An rootkitz An stuf liek that.
14 Make gynormus bote calld ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An outsiedz. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs, u has 2 use treez. An Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu An go getz ur hammerz An sawz An stuff. An noah sed k, brb.
15 An Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez teh ark: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits An teh width ov it 50 cubitz An teh hite ov it 30 cubits. An noah sed wtf iz a cubit An Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.
Exodus 3
Moses n teh burnin bush
1 Moses takes teh sheeples to teh Ceiling Cat mountain.2 I'm in ur bush, burnin, not consumin.3 Moses sez "OMG dis bush, dis bush, dis bush iz on fire! An iz still on teh fires!"
4 n Ceiling Cat sez "Moses Moses! Yo over teh here!" n Moses be liek, "wut"
5 n Ceiling Cat sez "Takes off ur shoos, dis be holiez placez.6 I be teh Ceiling cat. All ur dadz are belong to me. n Moses wuz scared.
7 Ceiling Cat sez: "All yez ppl b sad. I seed dat.8 Iz coming to saves dem an brng lotz ov cheezburgrs an milks. And honeys.9 i hearz teh ppls cryin an stuf an teh bad guys w/ teh pyramids iz bad guys.10 Sew, I iz snding U to teh ppl to saves teh ppl, k?"
11 n Moses wuz all liek, 'Wuh? Me? Nowai!'12 n Ceiling Cat wuz liek, "Wai. I helping U, and U bring teh ppls to wrship teh Ceiling Cat at Ceiling cat mountain.
13 n Moses wuz liek, "Wut if teh peeps say, who iz dat guy there?"
14 n Ceiling Cat wuz leik, "I yam who I yam".
15 4evrs dat b me.
16 Tell teh pplz i see dem, an they scard.17 Tell teh pplz about the cheezburgrs.
18 teh pplz say to U OMG, cool!19 Teh bad gyptions go BOO, no way man.20 Teh smitng an ouches for teh gyptians will smack down them.
21 an teh pplz will take all teh stuff ov teh bad dudes.22 Takes deys stufs an toys an playstashunz an puters an things of dem.
Ezekiel 25[/]
17 Teh walkies of the Ceiling Cat beliefer iz fightins an stuff by lotza unfair gredy aholes an George Boosh. Mani cheeborgrz 2 teh beliefer cat cuz of bein nice n stuff 2 helpin kitties thru teh scary plaice. He gud beliefer cat and finden losted kitties an such. Ceiling cat gonna pwn demz who fuk wit my budz. U kno mai name iz Ceiling Cat whe I'z scartchin yo ize out n such. (dere be sum despurting bout dis line, but dis as gud as any Ceiling Cat seeds, so et stayin)
Revelation 1
Iz comin. Srsly.
1 John haz sum revelashunz. Tehy frum teh Bebeh Jebus, but wuz furst frum Ceiling Cat, an tehy to show what iz comin. Teh Ceiling Cat sended hiz angel to John to give revelashunz.2 John sez iz all totally troof, zactly what teh Ceiling Cat and Bebeh Jebus sayed. He no lie. Srsly.
3 Everwun what reedz these wurdz will has cheezburgrz and everwun what heerz theez wurdz will has cheezburgrz. Also, pay attenshuns, cuz iz comin. Habeeb it.
4 John seyz, hay teh sehvuhn churchez over therr in Asia: Oh hai, from teh Ceiling Cat whoz alwayz around, an alwayz haz beens around, an alwayz will bes around, and hai from the sehvuhn kittehs sittin next to his mighteh sofuh.
5 Oh, also, hai frum Bebeh Jebus, who iz liek totally l33t. Srsly. To Bebeh Jebus who totally luvz us an died for us an stuff,6 Ur awsum, kthx.
7 Invisibuhl airplane for Bebeh Jebus! Everwun will see him in teh airplane, even tho iz invisibuhls. Even thoze bad doodz who wuz so mean will seez him, and everwun will be totally bummed. Srsly.
8 Teh Ceiling Cat sez "I be Alpha. Also, I be Omega. An I alwayz beenz an I alwayz will be. Also, I be very strong! Grrr!"
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
Some highlights that I have found so far:
Genesis 1
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.
Genesis 6
1 An when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urth, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let dem masturbate.
2 An teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov mens wer rly hot An sexy; An dey sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" An dey had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it wuznt inventd yet.
13 An Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urth cuz teh urth has mor evilz An vilents then WoW An grand theft auto. so im gonna pwnz tehm An teh whole urths. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz. i should haev kept it in Beta longr
An inventd mcafee An nortonz An stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz An viruses An rootkitz An stuf liek that.14 Make gynormus bote calld ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An outsiedz. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs, u has 2 use treez. An Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu An go getz ur hammerz An sawz An stuff. An noah sed k, brb.
15 An Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez teh ark: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits An teh width ov it 50 cubitz An teh hite ov it 30 cubits. An noah sed wtf iz a cubit An Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.
Exodus 3
Moses n teh burnin bush
1 Moses takes teh sheeples to teh Ceiling Cat mountain.2 I'm in ur bush, burnin, not consumin.3 Moses sez "OMG dis bush, dis bush, dis bush iz on fire! An iz still on teh fires!"
4 n Ceiling Cat sez "Moses Moses! Yo over teh here!" n Moses be liek, "wut"
5 n Ceiling Cat sez "Takes off ur shoos, dis be holiez placez.6 I be teh Ceiling cat. All ur dadz are belong to me. n Moses wuz scared.
7 Ceiling Cat sez: "All yez ppl b sad. I seed dat.8 Iz coming to saves dem an brng lotz ov cheezburgrs an milks. And honeys.9 i hearz teh ppls cryin an stuf an teh bad guys w/ teh pyramids iz bad guys.10 Sew, I iz snding U to teh ppl to saves teh ppl, k?"
11 n Moses wuz all liek, 'Wuh? Me? Nowai!'12 n Ceiling Cat wuz liek, "Wai. I helping U, and U bring teh ppls to wrship teh Ceiling Cat at Ceiling cat mountain.
13 n Moses wuz liek, "Wut if teh peeps say, who iz dat guy there?"
14 n Ceiling Cat wuz leik, "I yam who I yam".
15 4evrs dat b me.
16 Tell teh pplz i see dem, an they scard.17 Tell teh pplz about the cheezburgrs.
18 teh pplz say to U OMG, cool!19 Teh bad gyptions go BOO, no way man.20 Teh smitng an ouches for teh gyptians will smack down them.
21 an teh pplz will take all teh stuff ov teh bad dudes.22 Takes deys stufs an toys an playstashunz an puters an things of dem.
Ezekiel 25[/]
17 Teh walkies of the Ceiling Cat beliefer iz fightins an stuff by lotza unfair gredy aholes an George Boosh. Mani cheeborgrz 2 teh beliefer cat cuz of bein nice n stuff 2 helpin kitties thru teh scary plaice. He gud beliefer cat and finden losted kitties an such. Ceiling cat gonna pwn demz who fuk wit my budz. U kno mai name iz Ceiling Cat whe I'z scartchin yo ize out n such. (dere be sum despurting bout dis line, but dis as gud as any Ceiling Cat seeds, so et stayin)
Revelation 1
Iz comin. Srsly.
1 John haz sum revelashunz. Tehy frum teh Bebeh Jebus, but wuz furst frum Ceiling Cat, an tehy to show what iz comin. Teh Ceiling Cat sended hiz angel to John to give revelashunz.2 John sez iz all totally troof, zactly what teh Ceiling Cat and Bebeh Jebus sayed. He no lie. Srsly.
3 Everwun what reedz these wurdz will has cheezburgrz and everwun what heerz theez wurdz will has cheezburgrz. Also, pay attenshuns, cuz iz comin. Habeeb it.
4 John seyz, hay teh sehvuhn churchez over therr in Asia: Oh hai, from teh Ceiling Cat whoz alwayz around, an alwayz haz beens around, an alwayz will bes around, and hai from the sehvuhn kittehs sittin next to his mighteh sofuh.
5 Oh, also, hai frum Bebeh Jebus, who iz liek totally l33t. Srsly. To Bebeh Jebus who totally luvz us an died for us an stuff,6 Ur awsum, kthx.
7 Invisibuhl airplane for Bebeh Jebus! Everwun will see him in teh airplane, even tho iz invisibuhls. Even thoze bad doodz who wuz so mean will seez him, and everwun will be totally bummed. Srsly.
8 Teh Ceiling Cat sez "I be Alpha. Also, I be Omega. An I alwayz beenz an I alwayz will be. Also, I be very strong! Grrr!"
