lol, buzzwords

T

taivas

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Aug 12, 2008
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We got an e-mail sent to the entire company a short while ago, an excerpt of which I have provided below. I am not making this up.

If you have completed the Developing Member Loyalty workshop, then you are familiar with the Six Steps to Service Recovery. We would like to highlight a superb example of these steps in action.

From one of our Star Employees at <company>:

At 12:58pm on April 22, an issue was reported to the Facilities department in our Phoenix office. The problem was that
“the roll of paper towels in the Ladies restroom was stuck.”

This was the response:

1. Respond Rapidly: Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Your information was disseminated to our personnel within 3 minutes (1:01pm) of our receiving the notification.
2. Take Ownership: We in Facilities have prioritized this issue with the utmost importance and have dedicated all of our assets to solving the matter.
3. Apologize Sincerely: We wish to sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this mechanical issue might have caused.
4. Solve the Problem: After disseminating this information, it was resolved within 10 minutes (1:11pm) of receiving the issue.
5. Manage the Feelings: We acknowledge that the paper towel dispensers have the possibility of malfunctioning. We can certainly understand the necessity for adequate access to said towels.
6. Verify Satisfaction: We genuinely hope that you are pleased with our response and sincerely look forward to hearing any future questions, problems, or concerns. We hope to be a “10” on your scale and, if not, please let us know what it would take for us to be a 10.

SMILE! They can hear it in your voice. I hope this put a smile on your face today.
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I have no words.
 
Yea, I'm going to need fly and Knyte to step in and verify you aren't making this up. You are a shady individual and I can't trust you (especially after that one incident, you know what one I'm talking about).
 
I hate HR people so fucking much. Don't create useless paperwork for the rest of us to validate your job. My mission statement for my job is make it until it's time to leave without killing someone.
 
that made me lol.
We have a game in my office that when ever dumb fuck boss says a buzz word from a list we have, whoever spots it first wins a pound from all the others.

Some of his list that he says at least 5 times a day:

Fire and Forget
Legacy
Black Art
Back Scatter
Front Currancy
Organic
Call to Action
Code Injection
Passing Off
Price, Exclusivity and Convenience
Snagging
Business Critical
Two Sides Round a Square
Value Add
 
b_sinning said:
I hate HR people so fucking much. Don't create useless paperwork for the rest of us to validate your job. My mission statement for my job is make it until it's time to leave without killing someone.
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LOL. My last job had everyone in the department write a mission statement, it was a required part of the eval. I really hated that. I put "make no mistakes and leave on time"

I lost points for that.
 
This is what happens when companies can't be happy simply making money. They have to sound academic too.
 
Sarcasmo said:
This is what happens when companies can't be happy simply making money. They have to sound academic too.
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It's a whole lot worse in Academics. The school spent a fortune hiring an outside company to create a new mission statement and all that type of BS and then had panel discussions on it and then made everyone to lectures about it.

Which is stupid becuase if they had split all the money they blew among their employees productive would have gone up.
 
kiwi said:
Yea, I'm going to need fly and Knyte to step in and verify you aren't making this up. You are a shady individual and I can't trust you (especially after that one incident, you know what one I'm talking about).
Click to expand...

Sadly, its true. I'd like to point out that it was written by Knyte's buddy. :fly:
 
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