In real life I whine and complain. I bitch. I moan. I kvetch. I do all this and more.
Online, I tend to snark or to be irrelevant. One liners, stupid pictures, or, more often than not, nothing at all are the order of the day.
Tonight Only, this changes.
Tonight I shall whine about circumstances beyond my control.
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My mother, as some of you are aware, and much like eileenbunny's mother, is dying of cancer. She has been for some time. She has been delirious from pain meds for several weeks now. She has, in the last month, undergone two abdominal surgeries-- one to clear an intestinal blockage, and the other to try to clean out the infected cyst which was the immediate result of the prior surgery. She is out of touch. She pets invisible animals. She speaks to her dead ancestors.
But this isn't what got to me today.
What got to me today is how extraordinarily bad off my father has been recently. He is taking all of this poorly.
He's a drunk, to be sure, but he's always been a functional one. He's always managed to keep his shit together.
Not so much today.
Despite his efforts, he sobbed in front of me today. It was clumsy and broken. It was like someone trying to speak a language they know, but haven't spoken in many years. His sobs came in stilted shouts, punctuated by tears-- fists and feet banging on walls and tables. He ended up having to leave the room. It was terrible.
Online, I tend to snark or to be irrelevant. One liners, stupid pictures, or, more often than not, nothing at all are the order of the day.
Tonight Only, this changes.
Tonight I shall whine about circumstances beyond my control.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
My mother, as some of you are aware, and much like eileenbunny's mother, is dying of cancer. She has been for some time. She has been delirious from pain meds for several weeks now. She has, in the last month, undergone two abdominal surgeries-- one to clear an intestinal blockage, and the other to try to clean out the infected cyst which was the immediate result of the prior surgery. She is out of touch. She pets invisible animals. She speaks to her dead ancestors.
But this isn't what got to me today.
What got to me today is how extraordinarily bad off my father has been recently. He is taking all of this poorly.
He's a drunk, to be sure, but he's always been a functional one. He's always managed to keep his shit together.
Not so much today.
Despite his efforts, he sobbed in front of me today. It was clumsy and broken. It was like someone trying to speak a language they know, but haven't spoken in many years. His sobs came in stilted shouts, punctuated by tears-- fists and feet banging on walls and tables. He ended up having to leave the room. It was terrible.