Like Steel Reserve 211, this is high gravity

itburnswhenipee

Lonestar
May 25, 2005
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In real life I whine and complain. I bitch. I moan. I kvetch. I do all this and more.

Online, I tend to snark or to be irrelevant. One liners, stupid pictures, or, more often than not, nothing at all are the order of the day.

Tonight Only, this changes.

Tonight I shall whine about circumstances beyond my control.

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My mother, as some of you are aware, and much like eileenbunny's mother, is dying of cancer. She has been for some time. She has been delirious from pain meds for several weeks now. She has, in the last month, undergone two abdominal surgeries-- one to clear an intestinal blockage, and the other to try to clean out the infected cyst which was the immediate result of the prior surgery. She is out of touch. She pets invisible animals. She speaks to her dead ancestors.

But this isn't what got to me today.

What got to me today is how extraordinarily bad off my father has been recently. He is taking all of this poorly.

He's a drunk, to be sure, but he's always been a functional one. He's always managed to keep his shit together.

Not so much today.

Despite his efforts, he sobbed in front of me today. It was clumsy and broken. It was like someone trying to speak a language they know, but haven't spoken in many years. His sobs came in stilted shouts, punctuated by tears-- fists and feet banging on walls and tables. He ended up having to leave the room. It was terrible.
 
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is to go through what you are dealing with. If we can do anything just ask.

One of the hardest part of life is watching the people that raised you grow old. I hate
 
I'm actually really glad my dad isn't around to watch my mom go through this. I feel horrible for dan's dad and even worse for dan's grandfather, and worst of all for dan. He really is keeping it together well. I feel guilty I can't be there for him because I have to be here with my mom. We feel like we are living in some crazy Shakespearian tragedy. It's gotten to the point of rediculous drama. Some days it's easier to keep a good attitude about it than others. I've learned how valuable sleep is. At least my mom has gotten to the point of being mostly entertaining. This morning she talked to me about my relationship with Harry Connick Jr's mom. Yeah, I have no idea what that was about. She's also still insistant that we should not, under any circumstances, give a cell phone to Fluffy (her cat.)
 
I'm actually really glad my dad isn't around to watch my mom go through this. I feel horrible for dan's dad and even worse for dan's grandfather, and worst of all for dan. He really is keeping it together well. I feel guilty I can't be there for him because I have to be here with my mom. We feel like we are living in some crazy Shakespearian tragedy. It's gotten to the point of rediculous drama. Some days it's easier to keep a good attitude about it than others. I've learned how valuable sleep is. At least my mom has gotten to the point of being mostly entertaining. This morning she talked to me about my relationship with Harry Connick Jr's mom. Yeah, I have no idea what that was about. She's also still insistant that we should not, under any circumstances, give a cell phone to Fluffy (her cat.)

sooo much :heart: to you honey
can't wait for you both to get down here again
 
sooo much :heart: to you honey
can't wait for you both to get down here again

ditto that. :heart: :heart: i wish i could just fly up there and do whatever i could to make anything easier for you. i can't imagine either of your lives right now, and i'd do anything to take some hurt away. :(
 
and you know what, IBWIP? i hope that you come here as often as you need to to "whine"...but NEVER apologize for needing a place to lay down some hurt. you know we all care for you and are here to hear you out.
 
:heart:
:(

This must be really hard for everyone in your family :( My hopes are with you:heart:

PS - Stay away from that Steel Reserve shit, it will only make you go blind. Leave that to masturbation.
 
Yeah, I kinda know the shit you guys are going though. Its fucking hard to deal with. I remember everyone standing around my dad telling him we loved him and him trying to cry even though the fucking respirator wouldn't let him breathe normally. The shit sucks and I wish no one ever had to go through it. FUCK

I tried to get myself through it with humor. Maybe I'm a little twisted, but it sure helped.

edit: What in the fuck does the title mean?
 
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I am really sorry for all you both are going through and all that your families are going through also. I wish you some peace and ease during this time... and anything else you could need.