Life of a Holla Back Girl : Tales of misery and woe by DirkPhoenix
- Thread starter DirkPhoenix
- Start date
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Well I say if you can't beat them, join them.
Put a big mound of baking soda (or real crack) on the coffee table, 3 bondage magazines in your lap and mold a pound of raw hamburger meat into the shape of a puppy and refer to it as 'Rascal' or 'Puddin'...that should scare her the fuck straight.
Put a big mound of baking soda (or real crack) on the coffee table, 3 bondage magazines in your lap and mold a pound of raw hamburger meat into the shape of a puppy and refer to it as 'Rascal' or 'Puddin'...that should scare her the fuck straight.
**Left field***
Truth be told, I don't know any of you, I've never met ya, you've never met me. We've been posting together on various boards for years now, and we feel like we know each other. We share experiences and thoughts with each other that we just can't with our real world friends. How crazy to think strangers have a better insight into ourselves than our nearest and dearest?
It is in this sense we have developed bias for one another, where we defend our little cyber society against those analog outsiders. We try to see ourselves in each other, and push others to be the better people we can't. There's a lot of, "You just don't understand... I could never explain it to you... You don't know him/her like I do" when its us who don't seem to know ourselves as well as the bystanders. We don't fool anybody but ourselves, and we know it when we take those awful looks in the mirror in a stupor. We are kidding ourselves when we think we know better, we think we've got something on these folks. There is nothing so transparent as denial.
What am I talking about? What do I mean? I mean that personally I've discovered that I'm not half as damaged and broken as I have pretended to be. The only person I've ever convinced with this facade is myself. I am and have always been responsible for my own misery, and there isn't a damn thing anyone could have said to convince me of this fact until I saw it for myself. I wanted an excuse to be lazy, to sit in the comfort of my own misery, the familiar bite of disappointment, thinking existing was sufficient accomplishment to be considered a life. I had myself fooled for sure. Why do this? Because change is hard, the abyss of the unknown is terrifying. Hoping for better and for happiness when all you have ever allowed yourself to know is misery is unfathomable. Hoping for the sweet calm of happiness is like the quiet betrayal of every misery lived out, because deep down I know I was responsible for every misery I allowed myself to experience. Admission of that was not only the hardest realization, but also the most liberating.
When it comes down to it, happiness is much less complicated than misery. You don't have to think about it so much, just let it happen. In misery there is always contemplation, angling, maneuvering and cunning, and it's exhausting, sucking the very essence of us right out into the world. We become fodder for the emotional vampires we tie ourselves to, mostly just so we can have something to complain about. And externalization of the misery we feel inside which comes from our inability to just be quiet and just be happy.
Why do we do all of this? Because we don't know any better. We don't realize that there is a script to our lives, and we are the screenwriters. Of the different types of people in the world, the miserable ones are the ones who only see enough to write about the past, the unfulfilled dreamers only write the future, it is in the present and the interworkings and interactions of everyday that we find happiness. Tomorrow never comes, so why do we search there for happiness?
so... there.
*Game On*
Truth be told, I don't know any of you, I've never met ya, you've never met me. We've been posting together on various boards for years now, and we feel like we know each other. We share experiences and thoughts with each other that we just can't with our real world friends. How crazy to think strangers have a better insight into ourselves than our nearest and dearest?
It is in this sense we have developed bias for one another, where we defend our little cyber society against those analog outsiders. We try to see ourselves in each other, and push others to be the better people we can't. There's a lot of, "You just don't understand... I could never explain it to you... You don't know him/her like I do" when its us who don't seem to know ourselves as well as the bystanders. We don't fool anybody but ourselves, and we know it when we take those awful looks in the mirror in a stupor. We are kidding ourselves when we think we know better, we think we've got something on these folks. There is nothing so transparent as denial.
What am I talking about? What do I mean? I mean that personally I've discovered that I'm not half as damaged and broken as I have pretended to be. The only person I've ever convinced with this facade is myself. I am and have always been responsible for my own misery, and there isn't a damn thing anyone could have said to convince me of this fact until I saw it for myself. I wanted an excuse to be lazy, to sit in the comfort of my own misery, the familiar bite of disappointment, thinking existing was sufficient accomplishment to be considered a life. I had myself fooled for sure. Why do this? Because change is hard, the abyss of the unknown is terrifying. Hoping for better and for happiness when all you have ever allowed yourself to know is misery is unfathomable. Hoping for the sweet calm of happiness is like the quiet betrayal of every misery lived out, because deep down I know I was responsible for every misery I allowed myself to experience. Admission of that was not only the hardest realization, but also the most liberating.
When it comes down to it, happiness is much less complicated than misery. You don't have to think about it so much, just let it happen. In misery there is always contemplation, angling, maneuvering and cunning, and it's exhausting, sucking the very essence of us right out into the world. We become fodder for the emotional vampires we tie ourselves to, mostly just so we can have something to complain about. And externalization of the misery we feel inside which comes from our inability to just be quiet and just be happy.
Why do we do all of this? Because we don't know any better. We don't realize that there is a script to our lives, and we are the screenwriters. Of the different types of people in the world, the miserable ones are the ones who only see enough to write about the past, the unfulfilled dreamers only write the future, it is in the present and the interworkings and interactions of everyday that we find happiness. Tomorrow never comes, so why do we search there for happiness?
so... there.
*Game On*
Um....I am living in the present and it is not a happy place. About 15 minutes ago I stubbed my little toe on my filing cabinet and the blood coming out from under my nail was running down my foot. Now it is wrapped in a wsshcloth with ice and held on by a rubber band. THE PRESENT SUCKS TOO!!!!!!!!
Yeah, but as I recall... I got the title from this threadfly said:
It means "infected elephant butt hair"
I'm so popular