Life of a Holla Back Girl : Tales of misery and woe by DirkPhoenix


Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
Austin, Land of pot and...pot
"If the river was whiskey
And I was a duck
I'd dive to the bottom
And never come up."

-Tex Ritter, Rye Whiskey

I've always giggled at these lyrics. After a half-bottle of Glenmoraigne over a few hours and with this song playing in my head, I could barely contain my inner keekles. That stopped suddenly after dinner.

I've never been a big basketball fan. I like the Mavericks, but wins and losses don't really cause me as much pain as some. So after a nice $60 dinner (yeah, she's taking this whole "saving money" thing real seriously) we start talking about tonight's playoff game. With scotch in my veins, and a couple of Long Island Ice Teas to keep it company, we joked as we have always joked. In the past, i've made it mildly clear that in this instance I'm not a Spurs fan. I say that Ginobli is more of an actor than he needs to be, but I don't wish death and dishonor to his family. It's more for fun. She takes the opposite side of whatever i'm talking about, and vice versa. So it came as more than a little surprise when she lays down the following:

"Dirk, I don't need your negativity right now. The Spurs need our support. Please don't ruin this for me."

As I'm typing this, I had the exact same reaction as when I heard it. I read it over again and again, trying to look for the embedded humor. Sadly, she was completely serious.

So I play ball. The Spurs get a bad call, I wince. The Spurs get a good 3, I cheer. I don't care who wins. I'd just like to be zoning out to shiny lights. But I take an interest because I didn't want to have the night end up with another 3am conversation. Obviously, my aplomb for the Spurs was seen as being the Spurs. So I remained quiet and sedentary for most of the night, save for making sure her dog was fed and had a nice place on my balcony to piss and shit.

At the overtime break, we move into the bedroom. I apparently said something else to upset her as I set the alarm clock for 5am. So I take my position, and she takes hers, at the other edge of the bed. I ask her to move to the center, to get comfortable, but nothing happens. I make sure the dog is comfy, and make sure she's okay, tell her goodnight, and slip into the Rye Whiskey river slumber.

Until 3am. Apparently she had been fuming for 30 minutes and decided to sleep on the couch, where she most likely spent the next 3 hours getting more and more angry. After 3 years, i've become a very light sleeper, noticing the slightest change in sound or movement. But tonight, I didn't wake up. So at 3:30am, I get a polite smack on the shoulder, and a nice hour and a half conversation about my behavior during the game and my lack of concern about where she slept.

"It's a whiskey, you villain, you've been my downfall
You've kicked me, you've cuffed me, but I love you for all."


You need to tell her about this place. Everyone else has their SO posting here.


If I had a dollar might give ya 99
Oct 15, 2004
:lol: You guys are off and on for 3 years like this and things never change... you do realize that if you keep going at this rate, you're going to marry the girl and this will be your life forever... right?

My best friend did that. Dated a psycho bitch for 4 years, and finally married her thinking if he gave into her things would get better... all he did was legally bind himself to her, so now he's obligated to deal with her psycho rantings and mood swings.

Everyday you breathe is a choice, every event in your life is consentual, life doesn't do things to you, you do things to yourself. Live a good life.

my little brony

Keep Being A Little Bitch
Oct 15, 2004
DirkPhoenix said:
So at 3:30am, I get a polite smack on the shoulder, and a nice hour and a half conversation about my behavior during the game and my lack of concern about where she slept.
yeah, I really can't wait to get married