Hawt Joke thread.

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luckyjack

Giant Member
Jan 28, 2018
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A man once bought a parrot...

After bringing it home, he realizes that the parrot has the most vile, filthy vulgar vocabulary. The man, on the other hand, was educated and polite and this caused him great embarrassment.

After a few days, the man has had enough and tells the parrot "If you don't behave yourself, I'm going to throw you in the closet". The parrot responds with a load of filth, so the man throws him in the closet. The parrot continues to spew garbage from the closet, so the man opens the closet and grabs the parrot with both hands. The parrot continues to curse and slander as the man walks to the kitchen, opens the freezer, throws the parrot in there and slams it shut.

As the man listens, the parrot curses for a few seconds, but then suddenly, it goes silent. A few minutes go by and the man is worried that maybe the parrot died, so he opens the freezer door. The parrot comes out with trembling feet, climbs up on the man's shoulder and says "Master, you will not hear another uncultured word come out of my mouth as long as I live. But Master, may I ask one last question?" The man is astonished at this sudden change and says "Uhmm sure" The parrot says "What exactly did the chicken do?"
 

nukes

I Eat Buttholes Raw
Apr 15, 2016
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A man once bought a parrot...

After bringing it home, he realizes that the parrot has the most vile, filthy vulgar vocabulary. The man, on the other hand, was educated and polite and this caused him great embarrassment.

After a few days, the man has had enough and tells the parrot "If you don't behave yourself, I'm going to throw you in the closet". The parrot responds with a load of filth, so the man throws him in the closet. The parrot continues to spew garbage from the closet, so the man opens the closet and grabs the parrot with both hands. The parrot continues to curse and slander as the man walks to the kitchen, opens the freezer, throws the parrot in there and slams it shut.

As the man listens, the parrot curses for a few seconds, but then suddenly, it goes silent. A few minutes go by and the man is worried that maybe the parrot died, so he opens the freezer door. The parrot comes out with trembling feet, climbs up on the man's shoulder and says "Master, you will not hear another uncultured word come out of my mouth as long as I live. But Master, may I ask one last question?" The man is astonished at this sudden change and says "Uhmm sure" The parrot says "What exactly did the chicken do?"
Welcome to hell...
 

wetwillie

Butt Hamster
May 24, 2018
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Mid MIchigan

A penguin has some car trouble...​

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A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
 
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