Job Performance Review Thread

DirkPhoenix

Flaccid Member
Just had mine. Apparently I am a "Successful Contributor". And they're putting me in for a promotion to E2 (better than E1, not as good as E3). I guess they never bothered to check the server logs to see how much time I spend here. :eek:

Anyone else get their performance reviews?


edit:// and yes, this does include all homosexual-related performances. These will be rated by the following:

1 - Not Even a Kleenex Kleenup
2 - Courtesy Call A Day Later
3 - Streisand CD and a Handful of Valtrex
4 - Kiss On Back Of Neck
5 - Reach-around and Tickets To Dikes On Bikes 4
 

Percy Thrillington

Too Many People
Sep 30, 2004
66,235
33,805
1,323
51
Uranus
Steam
heyfubuddy
On my last review I recieved a score of 4.5 out of a possible 5 and a nice raise. The best one Ive ever had. Why? Because the left the bitch of a "shop lead" out of the equasion this time.
 

Mrs. Valve

Dizzy Broad
Oct 6, 2004
9,957
3,001
523
The QFH
due to the BoA merger with Fleet, my job is running away from me, just like everything else in my life.
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
I got full marks and they said I needed to know more about BSD :rolleyes: I said it would be a cold day in hell before I worked on some stupid OS in my free time
 
S

smileynev

Guest
F33nX said:
due to the BoA merger with Fleet, my job is running away from me, just like everything else in my life.

Health? Check
Roof over head? Check
Food in belly? Check
Imminent chance that you will be raped and/or killed? Nope

Your life is pretty good.
 

Mrs. Valve

Dizzy Broad
Oct 6, 2004
9,957
3,001
523
The QFH
smileyfat said:
Health? Beginning signs/family history of heart disease
Roof over head? only if i get paid, which i won't starting in a month and a half
Food in belly? only if i get paid, which i won't starting in a month and a half
Imminent chance that you will be raped and/or killed? Already been sexually assaulted once, and considering all the threats i've gotten in the past few months? Likely.

Your life is pretty good.

Fixed. Heh.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
F33nX said:
Fixed. Heh.

Well then, I guess if I was in your position I would just throw in the towel and call it quits. No use and trying to change anything.
 

Mrs. Valve

Dizzy Broad
Oct 6, 2004
9,957
3,001
523
The QFH
smileyfat said:
Well then, I guess if I was in your position I would just throw in the towel and call it quits. No use and trying to change anything.
that's what i've felt like doing in the past week. every time i try to change something, everything else gets screwed up.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
F33nX said:
that's what i've felt like doing in the past week. every time i try to change something, everything else gets screwed up.

go for it, no point in fighting the inevitable. Just enjoy the ride down the drain.
 

CletusJones

CUCKGBLR
Oct 15, 2004
16,870
707
548
my review in october was pretty decent, i got a nice raise. october 2003 was a great year for me though, they doubled my salary. :drool:
 
S

smileynev

Guest
ChikkenNoodul said:
At least take up drinking hard liquor and smoking before you go, the ride is more fun

yes, general debauchery is encouraged. The more STDS you acquire the more experience points you gain.
 

zengirl

If I had a dollar might give ya 99
Oct 15, 2004
10,255
20
41
My office doesn't do that at all. Each year I ask for a raise and each year they tell me that I make a good salary already and so-n-so hasn't had a raise in x years so I shouldn't either. Nevermind the fact that each time someone is fired or quits I take on their responsibilities and after 5 years I've replaced 4 people, continue doing my own job and now work out of 4 different offices each week.

;) maybe this year I'll finneggle some bling
 
S

smileynev

Guest
zengirl said:
My office doesn't do that at all. Each year I ask for a raise and each year they tell me that I make a good salary already and so-n-so hasn't had a raise in x years so I shouldn't either. Nevermind the fact that each time someone is fired or quits I take on their responsibilities and after 5 years I've replaced 4 people, continue doing my own job and now work out of 4 different offices each week.

;) maybe this year I'll finneggle some bling

I doubt it.
 

zengirl

If I had a dollar might give ya 99
Oct 15, 2004
10,255
20
41
smileyfat said:
I doubt it.
Last year I asked for a $7k raise, they gave me $2k, but I got a tidy $2k for a year end bonus :drool: I'm going to ask for the other $5k this year, hope that they give me another $2k and a better bonus come year end. :D