GAY ITT: I explain to you why Kiki...

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Now that I've suffered through horrible depression I have more respect for Kiki. I don't know how people live like that. Jesus Christ.
 
Mine is over. I'm eating again, sleeping again, Zac sent me a kick ass book about anxiety, and I just can't believe it ever happened in the first place. Bizarre doesn't even describe it. It's like looking back at this crazed imposter of yourself and not being able to control them. Fuck me, the brain is a powerful thing.
 
it sure is :(

i have been living with this shit for as long as i can remember. i have also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
my depression sometimes kicks my ass, i dont eat or sleep for days and days.
i was just in the hosp last week and they made me eat.
i hate the up and downs, i hate how unpredictable this shit is.
everyone is like: go outside, its a nice day, walk it off, think of something pleasant.
ya
like it if where that fucking easy.

im so happy that you where able to escape the horrid grips of depression. i cant remember the last time i was 'normal', im gonna guess early 2006 :(

I'd say I'm 90% through it. Not completely. I still get these weird twinges in the back of my mind from time to time, like it's waiting to pounce. I ignore them, and find something to do to keep myself busy. Sitting around is the worst thing I can do for myself, I discovered. This weekend I went nonstop and it was fantastic. Hit a festival with a friend, cleaned the house, played some football... I never realized how dependent I am on social interaction until all of that happened. I've always thought I was completely independent. What a joke. :fly:
 
Mine is over. I'm eating again, sleeping again, Zac sent me a kick ass book about anxiety, and I just can't believe it ever happened in the first place. Bizarre doesn't even describe it. It's like looking back at this crazed imposter of yourself and not being able to control them. Fuck me, the brain is a powerful thing.

Glad you liked the book!
 
It's very h3lpful. Not all of it, but most of it. Some of it deals with sh*t that I don't come close to. I find that scary in itself. Somewhere out there are people dealing with some real hardcore mental monstrosities. It's very sad. Like Kiki. That breaks my heart knowing she puts up with that sh*t every single day. It makes me angry, too. No one should have to deal with that.
 
ya, when i sit at home its worse, thats why im trying to do this trip with kiko.
but i also live with a severe panic disorder and i have no clue what my triggers are :(
before i had my son, my depression wasnt THIS bad, it would come and go... but since his birth, i had postpartum depression and then i slid into full fledge depression and i havent seen the light of day since:(

it's really odd that you say all this because I always thought of you as someone who was full of life and could cheer me up whenever I was down. I don't associate you with being depressed or depressive at all - admittedly I don't understand psychological disorders that well but I don't really get the way you talk about yourself these days.
 
It's very h3lpful. Not all of it, but most of it. Some of it deals with sh*t that I don't come close to. I find that scary in itself. Somewhere out there are people dealing with some real hardcore mental monstrosities. It's very sad. Like Kiki. That breaks my heart knowing she puts up with that sh*t every single day. It makes me angry, too. No one should have to deal with that.

I'm not sure its exactly the one that I read, but whatever. I remember in the book I read it almost always referred to the person having the panic attack as 'she'. Well gee thanks, you shithead. But it was still very informational.