It's Friday, it's quiet here at work........

Nyx

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Oct 14, 2004
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Mondoz said:
Don't get in the way. I'd hate to have to cast my unseen servant spell to go tie you down and ... Wait.
I wouldn't hate to do that.

*begins memorizing new spell*
Ha, it's impossible to tie me down :D

Unless of course I *want* to be tied down...
 
M

Mondoz

Guest
CletusJones said:
had i not been wearing my acid pebble resistant trashbag, I would be dead now.

I cast alkaseltzer's "foam from the heavens" and you are attacked by angry urine colored foam. The foam shoots feces at you and you are helpless against it :fly:

Ha!
I whip out my whiskey paper bag at the last moment.
The pocket dimension contained within attemtps to suck in everything near it. The flying feces are caught within its power, and are banished into the dimension of furries.

I close the bag, and start summoning my Soup Kitchen Worker to distract you with free food.
 

CletusJones

CUCKGBLR
Oct 15, 2004
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Mondoz said:
Ha!
I whip out my whiskey paper bag at the last moment.
The pocket dimension contained within attemtps to suck in everything near it. The flying feces are caught within its power, and are banished into the dimension of furries.

I close the bag, and start summoning my Soup Kitchen Worker to distract you with free food.
Having anticipated your attempt at distraction with the Soup Kitchek Worker, I retreived my Prison Chef Hat from my shopping cart before it burned. I use it to distract your soup kitchen worker and cast explosive dihhrea +10 and immodium AD blocking on the pot of soup. the soup is then served to your and your clan of hobo conquerors causing great devistation.
 
M

Mondoz

Guest
CletusJones said:
Having anticipated your attempt at distraction with the Soup Kitchek Worker, I retreived my Prison Chef Hat from my shopping cart before it burned. I use it to distract your soup kitchen worker and cast explosive dihhrea +10 and immodium AD blocking on the pot of soup. the soup is then served to your and your clan of hobo conquerors causing great devistation.


After my last victory over a rival hobo warrior, I trained my clan of hobos to never eat soup. The gastro-intestional explosions after the last battle killed 2/3 of my army. I vowed to never again allow this.
The soup is instead divided amongst the hobos, whom are loaded into the Hobo-Flingers, and catapulted into your army. They force the poisoned soup into your hobos, and laugh as they fall to their knees; their intestines rupturing all over the Wendy's parking lot.

As you gape open-mouthed at the hideous scene around you, I pull out my wand of castration, and point it directly at your groin. It's terrible hum emminates throughout the parking lot, immediately demanding the attention of all who hear it's deafening roar.
You watch in horror as a thin blue beam of light blazes through the air from the tip of the wand right into your pants.
You are thrown backwards against a dumpster, clutching the shrivled remains of your crotch. Your high-pitched wail pierces the night.
You are now a Level 9 Hobo-Eunuch.
 

CletusJones

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Oct 15, 2004
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Mondoz said:
After my last victory over a rival hobo warrior, I trained my clan of hobos to never eat soup. The gastro-intestional explosions after the last battle killed 2/3 of my army. I vowed to never again allow this.
The soup is instead divided amongst the hobos, whom are loaded into the Hobo-Flingers, and catapulted into your army. They force the poisoned soup into your hobos, and laugh as they fall to their knees; their intestines rupturing all over the Wendy's parking lot.

As you gape open-mouthed at the hideous scene around you, I pull out my wand of castration, and point it directly at your groin. It's terrible hum emminates throughout the parking lot, immediately demanding the attention of all who hear it's deafening roar.
You watch in horror as a thin blue beam of light blazes through the air from the tip of the wand right into your pants.
You are thrown backwards against a dumpster, clutching the shrivled remains of your crotch. Your high-pitched wail pierces the night.
You are now a Level 9 Hobo-Eunuch.
I tip my hat to you sir, for you have bested me.

 
M

Mondoz

Guest
CletusJones said:
I tip my hat to you sir, for you have bested me.

*bows*
I shall let you live today.

Perhaps we will meet again on another urine-stained fast food parking lot.

I hope that when you experience the phantom pains of being castrated, you will use it as a reminder to always go into battle with your codpiece of might +3.
 

CletusJones

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Mondoz said:
*bows*
I shall let you live today.

Perhaps we will meet again on another urine-stained fast food parking lot.

I hope that when you experience the phantom pains of being castrated, you will use it as a reminder to always go into battle with your codpiece of might +3.
perhaps. if and when that day comes, you can bet that I'll be wearing my codpiece of might +3. I had forgotten how important something so seemingly insignifigant could be.

I will experience no phantom pains for you see, I am not just your normal street variety hobo, I am from the planet HoBO. We HoBOnians have regererative powers when it comes to castration. There was a dark period in our history where wands of castration ran rampant in the street castrating everyone they saw. We eventually harnessed their powers and were able to modify our genetic code so that the effects would natrually reverse themselves. The process is quite painful and takes some 3 weeks, but it had to be done in order to ensure survival of our planet.
 
M

Mondoz

Guest
CletusJones said:
perhaps. if and when that day comes, you can bet that I'll be wearing my codpiece of might +3. I had forgotten how important something so seemingly insignifigant could be.

I will experience no phantom pains for you see, I am not just your normal street variety hobo, I am from the planet HoBO. We HoBOnians have regererative powers when it comes to castration. There was a dark period in our history where wands of castration ran rampant in the street castrating everyone they saw. We eventually harnessed their powers and were able to modify our genetic code so that the effects would natrually reverse themselves. The process is quite painful and takes some 3 weeks, but it had to be done in order to ensure survival of our planet.

The nightmares that must produce scare and confuse me.

What happens if someone castrates you before the 3 weeks is up?
 

CletusJones

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Mondoz said:
The nightmares that must produce scare and confuse me.

What happens if someone castrates you before the 3 weeks is up?
The nightmares experienced are of a kind that you cannot begin to imagine. The thought of killing myself is very strong, I'm not sure I can stand to go through the process another time without losing my mind.

The regenerative process begins again.
 
M

Mondoz

Guest
CletusJones said:
The nightmares experienced are of a kind that you cannot begin to imagine. The thought of killing myself is very strong, I'm not sure I can stand to go through the process another time without losing my mind.

The regenerative process begins again.


This explains a lot.



VLAUT!