It pays to gargle baby batter.

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,396
464
648
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Austin
Marklar
₥663
So my firm's happy hour was tonight. I found out about it yesterday, and thought "Shit, another hangover on a week night. I'll pass." But then my buddy talked me into going and it turns out I had a great time. This is the first firm-funded happy hour I've been to, and there is nothing like drinking as much as you possibly can for free.

So anyway, we had a raffle too. Everyone who came in got a ticket, tore it in half, and put one half in a bucket. Each half has the same number on it, yada yada. You know how it works.

So anyway again, I didn't win shit during the raffle. People got these $400 gift certificates to various stores and whatnot, and for the billionth time in my life I walked away empty handed. But then one of the managing partners of the firm walks up to the mic and says "Oh, and by the way we're drawing 10 more names, spur of the moment like, for cash prizes. Stick around." It was more eloquent than that, but that's pretty much what he said.

9 more loser winners come and go, and just as I'm walking back over to the patio for another beer in the nice warm evening air, they call my number as the last one. $1,000 bitches.

So yeah. I'm thinking I'll fly Bubbles out to Big D for a weekend of hot fucking.

Yes? No?
 
Please use the money to buy me clothes. Winter is coming and I will freeze to death without it. A new sleeping bag to use in my igloo would be nice too. Oh and some ammo for my rifle, the polar bears have already started to sniff around in my garbage.
 
I Robert I said:
Please use the money to buy me clothes. Winter is coming and I will freeze to death without it. A new sleeping bag to use in my igloo would be nice too. Oh and some ammo for my rifle, the polar bears have already started to sniff around in my garbage.
I just sent you a case of half-opened chocolate bars!

Good luck with those bears!
 
I Robert I said:
Please use the money to buy me clothes. Winter is coming and I will freeze to death without it. A new sleeping bag to use in my igloo would be nice too. Oh and some ammo for my rifle, the polar bears have already started to sniff around in my garbage.


I'll give you the same advice my dad was given back in the day when he was an exploration geologist for Mobil on Svalbard:

Shave the barrel sight off all of your guns so it doesn't hurt as bad when the polar bears stick them up your ass.
 
Bubbles said:
WOO HOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING ON VACATION !!!!!!!!!!
Hey, can we meet in New Orleans? I love the smell of warm piss in the city. :fly:

Oh, and congrats on your sudden intake of $$ :p


That's most fortunate. I was going to ask you if I could pee on you as part of the whole foreplay thing.
 
Lame-o said:
I'll give you the same advice my dad was given back in the day when he was an exploration geologist for Mobil on Svalbard:

Shave the barrel sight off all of your guns so it doesn't hurt as bad when the polar bears stick them up your ass.

Your dad sounds cooler then you.

BTW, buy your son something nice. Like a pony.
 
smileynev said:
Your dad sounds cooler then you.

BTW, buy your son something nice. Like a pony.


After buying him food once or twice he'd be glue. I have no time or patience for that.