Is there a point at which you can be to mean?

Example:

Thanksgiving last year. We ate with hifi's family in the early afternoon about 1.5 hours away. We come back, and eat at my families in the evening. Now by that time, Hifi the son and I are all beat. Just flat out pooped from all the social interaction and 3 hours on the road.
We eat with my family (me, hifi, son, sister, bro-in law, niece, nephew and the friend that my sister invited along with her 2 young boys. After we're done eating, we bs for a bit, then everyone wants to watch some show on tv (survivor or something retarded). Hifi and I are beat and its close to sons bedtime, so we decide to leave. So we get ready to go and im kinda mumbling when i talk since im dead tired. Apparently this pissed off my mom and she took it personally for some reason. So she storms off to the kitchin yelling about she doesnt know what my fucking problem is (dropping the f-bomb in front of a complete stranger and her two kids) then keeps ranting as she goes to her room. So we say good by and get in the car. My dad comes out and tells me to go back inside and apologize to my mom. Fine, i'll talk to her, but she deserves no apology. So i go talk to her and i rip into her tellign her we were tired and she doesnt need to act like that, especially infront of guests. So we argue for a good 15 minutes with her crying and trying to come up with some reasoning as to why its my fault. So i tell her she raised us better than she is acting and leave.


thats my mom in a nutshell.
 
your poor mother. i can't imagine that kind of life. :( still is no excuse for her behavior towards others, but it certainly makes it understandable. she's living a life of hell. :(
 
your poor mother. i can't imagine that kind of life. :( still is no excuse for her behavior towards others, but it certainly makes it understandable. she's living a life of hell. :(

basically yea. my dad has accepted the verbal abuse and deals with it. the rest of us, not so much.
 
She sounds like my mother.

She never does anything wrong, everyone else is always out to get her, and you can't discuss it with her or she thinks you're trying to verbally/mentally/emotionally assault her.

They don't fully comprehend anyone elses feelings, only their own. Very frustrating.
 
shes not institutional crazy. but her meds have messed with her head in the fact that she cant control her emotions some times.

The short version: It all started in '86 when a disk in her neck exploded inwards into her spine. She was paralyzed from the waste down for a bit, but eventually was able to walk again. Every so often, the nerves in her leg would wake up, causing a pain that she describes as "when your leg wakes up, you get that tingling feeling that makes it not too present to move your leg. multiply that pain by 1000 and that what she goes through". Eventually this feeling lasted with her almost all the time, so the docs doped her up real good.
She got better for a bit, went to college in the early 90's became a teacher and worked for 7 years before her body began to give out.
Her immune system is shot, so she lost a toe to cellulites, but the infection didnt go away completely and fights that. Her toes eventually began to curl under her feet, so she had pins put in. She wears leg braces to help her ankles when shes out and about. A cage was put in her neck around her spine to keep the vertebra in place. Now a days, shes losing feeling in her fingers and more bulging disks were found in her neck and lower back.

Her emotional issues stem from not living the life she wants to live. She was always the socialite. A go go goer. Full of energy and pep and it kills her she cant do everything she wants to do. Shes stuck at home alone most of the time since my dad still works and all of her babies are out of the nest. Im sure there are other underlying issues, but i dont know everything.

The meds make her a bit unstable when it comes to dealing with people. Shes pushy, crass and is the im always right person. Shes also alienated her friends, which compound the problem. When shes in pain, she is downright nasty (which i inherited, and try to keep in check), and she realizes it hurts the people around her, but she doesnt do anything about it untill confronted. Then she just breaks down and crys, because she knows what she did was wrong, she just cant control it some days. And she does keep herself in check a lot. She has very high willpower and never complains about hurting.

Its a very complicated situation. She loves all her grand kids and i think its the only thing that keeps her going some days. I trust her to watch our son, since a 2 year old doesnt require to be coodeled and coddled. I know she would never do anything to hurt him. But i have reservations about having her watch our second when Hifi goes back to work. I know she can look after a 6 week old, but with the recent goings on with her condition, im not so sure i would feel comfortable with her watching the baby. She would never hurt it on purpose, but accidents do happen. And if her arms gave out while she was carrying my child and he/she got hurt, i would never forgive myself or my mom.

Wow! That is a difficult hand that your mother was dealt. It pains me to read it. But the number one consideration are your children, then your wife. So, no matter what happens with your mother they need to come first. I can say, the more I read, I really think having your mother babysit is a bad idea. And, 2 year olds need to be constantly watched; they get into everything. Anyhow, I don't want to beat this into the ground. So, good luck in a very bad situation.
 
Wow! That is a difficult hand that your mother was dealt. It pains me to read it. But the number one consideration are your children, then your wife. So, no matter what happens with your mother they need to come first. I can say, the more I read, I really think having your mother babysit is a bad idea. And, 2 year olds need to be constantly watched; they get into everything. Anyhow, I don't want to beat this into the ground. So, good luck in a very bad situation.
and dont forget her Catholic upbringing, Alcoholic father and regular beatings... woowoo!
 
But maybe his working on it is to stand back, let the blast happen, and be far enough away to avoid shrapnel.

One thing I absolutely will not tolerate is guilt trips; hanging things over people's heads. If you do this as daily business you deserve to be left alone to wallow in misery. If his mom does this to anyone, stay far away from her and warn others about her.

Hifi, simply from you saying your first was highly stressful partly because of his mom, I say tell her to bugger off for the second without remorse. Tell her she should feel privileged you even mentioned you were having another one. If she wants to be involved, let her know you will make the decision on how much she will be allowed to be involved.

:heart: and good luck to you both. And hifi, stop getting pregnant so we can go out for drinks sometime :fly:

Drinking, what's that?!?!?:p I would love to go out drinking give me 10 months or so and I am good to go. And this is our second and LAST child, so after that I'll be good. :heart:
 
Drinking, what's that?!?!?:p I would love to go out drinking give me 10 months or so and I am good to go. And this is our second and LAST child, so after that I'll be good. :heart:

good. you too go out, and i'll have the grannies watch the children so i can take a nap.