Is there a point at which you can be to mean?

H

HifiGirly

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Nov 16, 2004
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So Hydro and I have baby #2 on the way and I've been keeping it rather hush hush. He decided he was ready to tell his family at dinner this past Monday night when everyone would be together. After some unforeseen circumstances it ended up we only had dinner with his parents. We went ahead and told his parents, against my better judgment, but asked that the not tell his sister because we would like to. They both agreed. Last night we saw his sister and the first thing she said is, well are you going to tell me? Where are the pictures? Yeah, the mother-in-law told. Then when we saw her later in the evening she said I was so excited I told, oops. She told them the same night! :mad:

Well needless to say I have some past mother in law issues and told my husband I would rather not deal with her at the hospital the day I have the baby. I am having my second c-section and she stressed me out beyond belief the last time. Well I was talking to my cousin today and she came up with a slightly evil plan, that calms my nerves ooohhh so well, but is it too much??

This was her idea " I say you should tell her a different due date since you know you are having a C-Section just tell her it is a day later than it is and then call her the next day to come and when the baby is already there just say “Oh, I got so excited I forgot which day it was”, and smile and pretend like there is no problem."

Maybe that's a little too far, but it could be so nice...
 
she probably shouldn't have done that but her excitement is understandable and I doubt her intention was to steal your proverbial thunder...I'd say let it go and be the bigger person about the whole thing
 
Why don't you just play honest? You can say that you shared the first birth with everyone but would rather the second be more intimate and just between you and Hydro?

My brother and his wife did that, for their first kid everyone was in the room, and so for the second they simply said, "No" and while people did get their noses bent out of joint a bit, they have to understand that this is your pregnancy and it's your right to do it whichever way makes for the happiest, safest, sanest deivery.
 
w_a_w said:
she probably shouldn't have done that but her excitement is understandable and I doubt her intention was to steal your proverbial thunder...I'd say let it go and be the bigger person about the whole thing
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No I am pretty sure she was in the thunder stealing mood. Last pregnancy her battle cry was that I didn't let her be part of the baby's prenatal life:wtf:
 
zengirl said:
Why don't you just play honest? You can say that you shared the first birth with everyone but would rather the second be more intimate and just between you and Hydro?

My brother and his wife did that, for their first kid everyone was in the room, and so for the second they simply said, "No" and while people did get their noses bent out of joint a bit, they have to understand that this is your pregnancy and it's your right to do it whichever way makes for the happiest, safest, sanest deivery.
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But I want my mom there, there can only be 2 people in the room. And I want my family to visit, my cousin is a nurse at the hospital, and I don't even mind my father-in-law:confused:
 
HifiGirly said:
But I want my mom there, there can only be 2 people in the room. And I want my family to visit, my cousin is a nurse at the hospital, and I don't even mind my father-in-law:confused:
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Seriously the thought of having my man's mom seeing my cooch is not cool. She should be able to understand that.
 
Dharma1521 said:
Seriously the thought of having my man's mom seeing my cooch is not cool. She should be able to understand that.
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I'll be having a C'section so as far as I know there is no cooch involved, although I was unconscious last time. There can only be 2 people in the room for the surgery and it will be Hydro and my mom, the same as last time.
 
Kinda funny to read this thread, and then my best friend just messaged me on aim that he and his wife are expecting their first child in november.
 
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HifiGirly said:
But I want my mom there, there can only be 2 people in the room. And I want my family to visit, my cousin is a nurse at the hospital, and I don't even mind my father-in-law:confused:
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hon, there is a lot of compromise in a marriage. there's that with you and your husband, and then it extends out to the families. there's always compromise.

BUT.

i draw the line at my own body. i have the only say so in who can be invited into the room. and there have been a couple of good suggestions listed above, but no more should be needed than a simple, "i'm going what's most comfortable with me." there is NOTHING wrong with that, and if anyone has a problem with that, then it's their problem, not yours. this is your moment, and yes, your husband's important there, but it's your body. the end. you stand up for YOURSELF (because that's what's BEST, mentally and physically!) and only do what you are comfortable with.

tell her you're glad she got to experience it last time, but this time it's not going to be the same. you have to do what you are most comfortable with, and that is going to be your husband and your mother. no more explanation is needed. and no apologies either.

(i know it's harder than it sounds, as i have had to do something similar this time around, but STICK TO YOUR GUNS.) :heart:
 
a little back history on my mom... she is bat shit nutty. im talkin coo-coo for co co puffs here.

last time she kept calling back to the prep area wanting to see hifi right before she went in to get cut open. And then yelled down the hallway at her mom, after seeing the baby through the nursery looking glass) about "who in the hell has black hair in your family". Shes a real drama queen.

Im all for not having here there and im fine with it just being me, hifi and her mom. id rather prefer it actually. I pissed off everyone in her family last time by kicking them all out of our house.

Now im not saying we need to be mean to my mom, but if we exclude her, we would have to exclude everyone but her mom so it doesnt cause a retarded fight. mental instability for the lose.

On a side note, when we saw my sister last night, it was to see her new daughter at the hospital. :D
 
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Just to be straight up with you, I think it's a really bad idea. You always go with the practical over the mindgames, always. It just works better in the long run. If there can only be two people there, you want your husband and your mother because those are the people that are going to be the most help to delivering your baby safely and sanely. If your mother-in-law asks to be there, tell her that, and if she's mad about that then well she's just destined to be matter no matter what at that point.

What do you think is going to happen if you pull that trick on her? You think she'll just show up the next day and be like "oh okay well mistakes happen" or do you think it's just going to add to the conflict? And what do you think is going to happen if you're open, practical, honest and upfront with her? Do you think she's really going to object to you picking who is there if there can only be two, or do you think she's going to understand and be alright with it?

Do you play mindfuck games with her a lot...?
 
Dude, these are women, they couldnt tell each other the truth if their life depended on it.
 
HifiGirly said:
This was her idea " I say you should tell her a different due date since you know you are having a C-Section just tell her it is a day later than it is and then call her the next day to come and when the baby is already there just say “Oh, I got so excited I forgot which day it was”, and smile and pretend like there is no problem."
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I think that's a fabulous idea.

Being excited is being excited. Doing something you were asked not to do is obscene. Especially something like this.

It'd be like some guy telling his mom he's set up this whole extravagant way to propose to his GF in 2 days, but don't tell anyone it's a suprise. The GF comes over the next night .. and the mom asking the GF if she liked her ring.

I hate thunder stealers. They do it on purpose, because they want to be the special one. If she hadn't meant to do it, she would have called right afterwards and appologized, before they had to find out from the sister.

Take no prisoners I say.
 
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