Food The (not so) delicious food thread

daffy duck masturbation GIF
 
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A'ight, check it: if I pull up to Thanksgiving dinner and y'all try to serve me what's there on the left, I sweatergod I’m flippin' all them tables over. don’t nobody want no chutney berry blends with kosher salt recipe u got from Pinterest. I don't care if Gordon Ramsay himself made 'em, issa no for me dawg, I’m not cultured enough….gimme what’s on the right from the great glacier waters of Ocean Spray that Jesus himself moonwalked on…that canned cold maroon lumped jelly with the ridges where can’t nobody can slice right, I’m from the trenches. bone apple tea.
 
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A'ight, check it: if I pull up to Thanksgiving dinner and y'all try to serve me what's there on the left, I sweatergod I’m flippin' all them tables over. don’t nobody want no chutney berry blends with kosher salt recipe u got from Pinterest. I don't care if Gordon Ramsay himself made 'em, issa no for me dawg, I’m not cultured enough….gimme what’s on the right from the great glacier waters of Ocean Spray that Jesus himself moonwalked on…that canned cold maroon lumped jelly with the ridges where can’t nobody can slice right, I’m from the trenches. bone apple tea.
I mean, yeah. I appreciate the left. I like the right
 
View attachment 16827

A'ight, check it: if I pull up to Thanksgiving dinner and y'all try to serve me what's there on the left, I sweatergod I’m flippin' all them tables over. don’t nobody want no chutney berry blends with kosher salt recipe u got from Pinterest. I don't care if Gordon Ramsay himself made 'em, issa no for me dawg, I’m not cultured enough….gimme what’s on the right from the great glacier waters of Ocean Spray that Jesus himself moonwalked on…that canned cold maroon lumped jelly with the ridges where can’t nobody can slice right, I’m from the trenches. bone apple tea.

Fresh cranberry sauce kicks ass, but for fucks sake, keep that shit simple. Sugar, water and cranberries in a saucepan. Maybe a little lemon juice if the cranberries don't provide enough tart for your tastes. If you put vanilla and cinnamon and herbs and shit in your cranberry sauce, go eat a dick with it.

But even when I make fresh sauce, I open up a can of the red jiggly too. It's just one of those things that you gotta have on plate or it ain't thanksgiving.
 
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Fresh cranberry sauce kicks ass, but for fucks sake, keep that shit simple. Sugar, water and cranberries in a saucepan. Maybe a little lemon juice if the cranberries don't provide enough tart for your tastes. If you put vanilla and cinnamon and herbs and shit in your cranberry sauce, go eat a dick with it.

But even when I make fresh sauce, I open up a can of the red jiggly too. It's just one of those things that you gotta have on plate or it ain't thanksgiving.
Red jiggly is mandatory
 
Fresh cranberry sauce kicks ass, but for fucks sake, keep that shit simple. Sugar, water and cranberries in a saucepan. Maybe a little lemon juice if the cranberries don't provide enough tart for your tastes. If you put vanilla and cinnamon and herbs and shit in your cranberry sauce, go eat a dick with it.

But even when I make fresh sauce, I open up a can of the red jiggly too. It's just one of those things that you gotta have on plate or it ain't thanksgiving.
Orange zest is great in cranberry sauce
 
We only have one kiddo gone for thanksgiving and my mom likes cooking as much as I do, so we are only doing appetizers and pie for thanksgiving. It’s gonna be awesome.
 
Orange zest is great in cranberry sauce
Maybe, but don't overdo it. Orange oil is one of those things that can stick to your tongue and be part of the flavor of every other thing you eat on the plate.

My main hatred is when people throw the whole kit of mulling spices into the cranberry sauce. Orange zest and lemon zest and cinnamon and cloves and ginger and all that shit. It's great with crackers but on turkey dinner? fuck no.