Food The (not so) delicious food thread

Forgot to mention, use mayo instead of butter on your grilled cheese sammies. Chew on that for a sec and look it up.
 
That was the one complaint was the bread wasnt that great

Buy better bread. Not trying to bread shame you. Crunchy sourdough is fucking amazing. We buy both ALDI sliced loaves and the boules. I prefer the sliced loaves. Keeps your sammies uniformed, whereas the boule gives you a bunch of varying length sammies.
 
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So a local high-end breakfast place serves a breakfast sandwich called the "durty burd". It's a whole bunch of strong flavors and textures thrown together, but it works. And It's won a couple of local food/restaurant awards.

burd.jpg

I've managed to make a pretty good copy of it.

(1) Marinate the chicken

2c buttermilk (or 2c milk + 2tbsp lemon juice)
1 tsp dried rosemary
1 tsp dried sage
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne powder
1/2 dozen chicken thighs, flattened to 1/4"-3/8" thickness. Or cut chicken breasts in half and flatten them.
Marinate overnight.

(2) Make buffalo red-eye sauce.

1/2c coffee (it's a dominant part of the flavor, use whatever coffee you enjoy)
1/4c each sugar, corn syrup, ketchup
2 tbsp butter
1 tsp Grace scotch bonnet sauce. Suggest adding this at the end and adjusting it.
Mix in a saucepan, reduce 'till it's sticky.

(3) Fry the chicken.

2c bread flour
1/2c egg whites
2c Cool Ranch doritos crushed so they're the size of bread crumbs + 1/2c bread flour, whisked together.

Dredge the chicken in bread flour. Let it sit in the flour for a while for some good gluten bondage between the chicken and the flour.
Dip in the egg whites, then coat with doritos. Let it sit for ~5 minutes on some parchment before you fry it, for good breading bondage.
Heat up about 1/8" of oil in the bottom of a cast iron pan and fry 'em up.

(4) Throw your sandwiches together. Top to bottom:

top bun of an english muffin, toasted and brushed with ranch dressing.
2 eggs, fried or poached over easy. Yolk dripping over everything and making a huge mess is part of the durty burd experience.
2 strips half decent bacon. Go for something smoky to bring that to the flavor party, like applewood smoked.
Havarti strips (gouda works too, gotta be a soft cheese)
Fried chicken, brushed on both sides with lots of red eye sauce
Guacamole, or just cut up an avocado and throw it on there.
bottom bun

... and know what? I did all this today and didn't take a fucking picture of it.