You know what I love about Big Brother. The fact that when I am at home, covered in melted sheeps lard and with my testicles attached to a car battery via jumper cables, I can masterbate my way into next week and Big Brother is there, watching, judging, accusing me of thought crimes and urging me down the dark deep road of sedition and mayhem in such a way that my eventual forays into terrorism and insurgency are all but granted.
Tonight, you will be the guest of honor as I add a little lime jello to my wank session and think of you as I explode my man chowder all over my bedroom.
God, I can't wait, can you?