If you ruled the world...

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Clam whisperer
Oct 15, 2004
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...what kind of sick and twisted things would you impose on others?

If I ran this country, not even the world, I'd set a few ground rules.

My first rule would be that if you wanted more than 2 children you'd have to apply for some kind of license, people basically have kids because it's a meal ticket and means they can get free accomodation. If you have a kid for the purpose of getting a house then you don't really bring it up with it's best interests at heart. I think you'd have to have enough money to bring up a kid (I don't have anything against poor people, I was poor growing up, but some people just can't cope with moer than 2 kids), prove some kind of competancy test and I'm not sure what else.

Secondly I'd make a rule that if you were on smack then your kids got taken off you, no questions asked. You'd have to be clean for 6months to get them back. I grew up with smackheads living next door and they had 3kids who barely had clothes, didn't go to school etc. and I can't see how you can be a competent parent if you're smacked off your head. I really don't understand why kids don't get taken off parents already, it's weird.

I'd encourage people to ride bicycles everywhere, if you showed willing to cycle more than once a week we'd give you a free bike.

Can't think of other things.
 
i would triple tax chocolate. deficit would be solved in a week.

i would make all my singers live next to me and be at my disposal.

liam...would still be in my closet, desperately waiting to serve my next need happily.

rod stewart would have his vocal chords removed and hung from the back of his neck as example of what happens if you try to sing but you're absolutely horrible.
well maybe i'd just kick him in the nuts every time he opened his mouth to sing. or breathe.

poodles would be sent to some island. along with hawks. but the hawks could fly back when they were done.