WTF If you are ever out and about with me

Hey, I've got an idea! Don't be a moron and drink and drive! She deserves to be in jail. I hope it costs her thousands.
 
Been that route before. It's ugly. I'd prefer a hangover.

But seriously, there are pills out there that actually work really well.
 
come at me with a sandwhich bro.

I ain't ya bitch, brah. Get ya own damn sandwich.


Honestly though, these days I'd have a hard time. But roughly 6 years ago while working as a guard, I peaked at around 245lbs. I was eating two large pizzas in a sitting, multiples nights a week. I'd have put Adam Richman to shame.
 
When I was in high school, people who bragged about alcohol consumption were the shit. You can imagine how cool they are now that I'm in my 30s.