If it wasn't for elpmis...

[smileynev]

...please finish the sentence.

If it wasn't for elpmis, I would have never been caught by my wife wearing women's black satin bikini cut panties.

 

[Sarcasmo]

I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

 

[Onnotangu]

i would have never known the joys of lemmings ala carte

 

[Onnotangu]

I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

why do I know that joke?

 

[Syrup Beaver]

...I wouldn't have gotten out of the whole Holiday Inn / San Diego Zoo / missing walrus legal entanglement.

 

[smileynev]

why do I know that joke?

Lewis Black

 

[simple]

...I wouldn't have gotten out of the whole Holiday Inn / San Diego Zoo / missing walrus legal entanglement.

that night was fucked up

 

[Syrup Beaver]

...I'd still be using the incorrect setting on my bone saw.

 

[smileynev]

...I would still have an ounce of self respect and dignity.

 

[Desslock]

...the gerbils would still be alive.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

...Charlie Sheen would still be tied up in that Mexican whore's closet.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

...my bedsheets would still be stain-free.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

...Krakatoa would still be the biggest eruption on record.

 

[fly]

...I would still find cartoons funny.

 

[fly]

...that barstool wouldn't have fallen up my asshole.

 

[Desslock]

...my wife wouldn't have left me.

 

[simple]

some (most) of these are fucking hilarious

 

[simple]

 

[Syrup Beaver]

Shark victim reunion?

 

[smileynev]

Shark victim reunion?

Sharks that only like arm meat?