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jaxxor said:I guess it should come as no suprise that I laughed hysterically at this
It wasn't nearly as funny or as bad as when our cat died. Story time:
We had this outdoor cat that was REALLY old. My dad never really liked it but he never really hated it either. One day the cat came scratching at the door to his office (his office is detached from the house) and he yelled at the thing to go away.
An hour later when I woke up he comes up to me: "The cat's dead." So we go outside and hover over the thing...it's so obviously dead...yet here's my dad whispering: "Kitty? Here kitty kitty. Kitty kitty?" for like, 10 minutes. Finally he goes into the tool shed and gets a shovel...I'm thinking we're going to go bury the cat down the hill or something.
"Go get a garbage bag." He tells me...so I bring out the garbage bag...there's my dad shovelling the cat off the ground like some slab of road kill or something, it's head hanging off the side of the shovel and one of its paws sticking straight up. I'm, of course, mortified. The cat was our pet for years and he couldn't even bring himself to pick it up with his hands. Naturally, he puts the cat in the garbage bag.
Here's where it gets real bad...he takes the bag with the cat in it and puts it in the garbage can.
He still isn't sure the cat's dead. So for three days he leaves the lid off the trash can and the bag open, everytime he walks by he looks in: "Here kitty. Here kitty kitty. Kitty? Here kitty?" FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS!! Finally its trash day...he goes into the garage, grabs a handful of the cat's food, puts it IN the bag with the cat. Wheels the can out to the curb and salutes the fucking cat as the trash truck heaves the thing into the pit.
Cliffs:
1.) Cat dies
2.) Dad akwardly sends the cat off into the afterlife by dumping it in the trash.