I only say this because I <3 you April

I am finding this to be my biggest problem. I know I will not lose weight until I completely change my lifestyle. I know that but I LOVE my lifestyle. I love going out and grabbing brews with the boys. I love sitting at a bar playing drinking games. I love heading out to the beach for drinks and bikini gazing. I love flirting with the women, especially when I am drunk :fly:. I just love the party life and its hard to change that in me.

It's all about choices. Not long ago I realized that to keep my life in order I had to instill responsibility in myself. I severed ties with old slacker friends and acquaintances who never had anything to offer, I keep my house clean, I go to work every day, and I come home at night.

When I was going out all the time I was paying bills late, calling in late or sick to work after a night of partying, my house was a mess, etc. I routinely did stupid things and sabotaged myself. I tended to use partying as an excuse to keep my mind off my son when I couldn't be with him. But give me a break. It was a choice like any other. So I decided to grow up and be a man instead. Now I surround myself with things that benefit me. And I don't mean materialistically. I mean spiritually, emotionally, professionally, etc. I just had to cut the flotsam out of my life. Everyone does, at some point.

So far you know at least two things. That you want to lose weight, and that won't unless you change. Which is great because it means you're being honest. But realistically speaking you can't have it both ways. I can't name a single person who has dropped 60 pounds by sitting in a bar slammin' shots and beers with friends, eating fast food, and chilling at the beach. You were pretty gung ho about getting in shape not long ago.
 
It's all about choices. Not long ago I realized that to keep my life in order I had to instill responsibility in myself. I severed ties with old slacker friends and acquaintances who never had anything to offer, I keep my house clean, I go to work every day, and I come home at night.

When I was going out all the time I was paying bills late, calling in late or sick to work after a night of partying, my house was a mess, etc. I routinely did stupid things and sabotaged myself. I tended to use partying as an excuse to keep my mind off my son when I couldn't be with him. But give me a break. It was a choice like any other. So I decided to grow up and be a man instead. Now I surround myself with things that benefit me. And I don't mean materialistically. I mean spiritually, emotionally, professionally, etc. I just had to cut the flotsam out of my life. Everyone does, at some point.

So far you know at least two things. That you want to lose weight, and that won't unless you change. Which is great because it means you're being honest. But realistically speaking you can't have it both ways. I can't name a single person who has dropped 60 pounds by sitting in a bar slammin' shots and beers with friends, eating fast food, and chilling at the beach. You were pretty gung ho about getting in shape not long ago.

You have a kid though, if I had a kid I wouldnt be going out drinking like I currently do. You were more or less forced to change for that child so you could be a father. That is more of a forced choice than just a "lets go ahead and change" thing. Still hard but you "had" to change for your son. And there is nothing wrong with that, its great! Dont take it the wrong way ;)
 
You have a kid though, if I had a kid I wouldnt be going out drinking like I currently do. You were more or less forced to change for that child so you could be a father. That is more of a forced choice than just a "lets go ahead and change" thing. Still hard but you "had" to change for your son. And there is nothing wrong with that, its great! Dont take it the wrong way ;)

Just pretend you are the kid (well because you are) and change for him.
 
You have a kid though, if I had a kid I wouldnt be going out drinking like I currently do. You were more or less forced to change for that child so you could be a father. That is more of a forced choice than just a "lets go ahead and change" thing. Still hard but you "had" to change for your son. And there is nothing wrong with that, its great! Dont take it the wrong way ;)

There's no such thing as a forced change. I didn't have to do anything for my son. I chose to. I wanted to.
 
There's no such thing as a forced change. I didn't have to do anything for my son. I chose to. I wanted to.

If you did not change you would be a bad father, to most that is NOT an option or an optional change. It is a forced change because the only other option was to be a complete shitbag father. Like I said, its not a bad thing, in fact its probably the greatest thing you have ever done. I am just saying it for most people is a forced change because the other option is just horrible.
 
If you did not change you would be a bad father, to most that is NOT an option or an optional change. It is a forced change because the only other option was to be a complete shitbag father. Like I said, its not a bad thing, in fact its probably the greatest thing you have ever done. I am just saying it for most people is a forced change because the other option is just horrible.

You are kinda missing the point, no one forces you to be a good parent. You don't have to .. you can be a shitty parent if you choose to be (and lots of people do, it's not uncommon).

You may force yourself to, but you force yourself to do anything you choose to do; because no one else can "force" you to do something unless you choose to do it. They may give you an ultimatum .. but the end choice is yours and yours alone.

You do have the option to do the opposite of what someone is telling you to do, and suffer the consequences. You have to decide what you want to do and do it.
 
I think what Brad is saying here is that there is very little motivation for him to change things in his life. He likes most things about his life except for his weight. I can't imagine what I would do if I struggled with my weight. I like eating cheeseburgers whenever I want and I've never had to think about it. I don't think I'd be very good at changing without a very good reason. Sarcasmo had an excellent reason to change. The only one Brad has is self-image it seems.

So, Brad, you need to look at the big picture and figure out what reasons you have to change yourself and whether it's really worth it to you to give up a lifestyle you love in favor of a body you love. I think you are a fine looking man as it is. Perhaps health should be a consideration for you though. Maybe you could write down all the reasons you want this and read it every time you feel like breaking the diet/exercize routine you have set for yourself. Maybe it will help to see a reminder every so often. I say just try to be happy with whatever decisions you make on a day to day basis. You only get so many times around on this planet so you might as well have a good time and not beat yourself up about it all.

I sure hope that a clean house is not a pre-requisite for being a responsible adult though, because IBWIP and I lose if that's the case :(.

Oh, and somebody send me some of those cookies STAT!!!
 
changing your weight is one of the hardest things to do .. I think it's above quitting smoking.

I told my long-distance girl that I wasn't coming down to see her again until she lost weight. So I'm losing some weight myself because she's doing it and if I come down just as flabby she's likely to kill me in my sleep. :eek:
 
I hope Zac would tell me when I was gaining weight, that is some helpful information.

April, you're a fatty and gaining weight, will you please lay off the donuts and baconaters. I'm still recovering from the broken leg you gave me last time we made hot love.
 
I think what Brad is saying here is that there is very little motivation for him to change things in his life. He likes most things about his life except for his weight. I can't imagine what I would do if I struggled with my weight. I like eating cheeseburgers whenever I want and I've never had to think about it. I don't think I'd be very good at changing without a very good reason. Sarcasmo had an excellent reason to change. The only one Brad has is self-image it seems.

So, Brad, you need to look at the big picture and figure out what reasons you have to change yourself and whether it's really worth it to you to give up a lifestyle you love in favor of a body you love. I think you are a fine looking man as it is. Perhaps health should be a consideration for you though. Maybe you could write down all the reasons you want this and read it every time you feel like breaking the diet/exercize routine you have set for yourself. Maybe it will help to see a reminder every so often. I say just try to be happy with whatever decisions you make on a day to day basis. You only get so many times around on this planet so you might as well have a good time and not beat yourself up about it all.

I sure hope that a clean house is not a pre-requisite for being a responsible adult though, because IBWIP and I lose if that's the case :(.

Oh, and somebody send me some of those cookies STAT!!!

Well thanks hun :heart:

Thats pretty much it, I enjoy my life right now just dont enjoy being over weight. I truly think if I put a little more effort into it I will be enjoying the benefits but I do have laziness, I didnt get this way by running daily :fly:. I am changing though, its not cold turkey but I am eating cold turkey instead of McDonalds on a regular basis. I am sure once I start seeing and feeling more benefits I will continue on the same route. I enjoy eating salads for lunch and I love how I feel after working out. But again, quiting my lifestyle of drinking seems like an excuse to quit drinking and I dont care too :D. Most of my friends are skinny cause they work out and bust there ass when they are not out drinking with me:fly:. I am working my way there, slowly but at my pace and its making me pretty happy.


Thanks for the kind words, its nice to hear :heart: