I need your help.

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
16,993
453
298
42
I cancelled a psychologist appointment over lunch today when a psychiatrist I preferred called me and told me he had an opening instead. The bad thing is I lost $75 on that decision but I felt better about it overall. This psychiatrist has a practice that focuses on cognitive therapy with medication as a last resort. He's out of network, so it bit me in the ass pretty good, but I think it did some help. And he said he can get me some of that back. Plus I now have the power of Xanax.

We didn't talk for too long. Just over an hour and 20 minutes, and a lot of that was for the initial psyche eval. The good news is that both he and my doctor agreed that I am neither crazy nor bipolar. I do occasionally get a bit depressed (whenever I don't have the kid) however I don't have manic or grandiose episodes, suicidal thoughts, consistent crippling depression or any other serious symptoms. I do, however, suffer from anxiety attacks. General Anxiety Disorder. Lucky me. It runs in our family to varying degrees of seriousness, and I have a moderate version of it. The same things seem to set off my episodes each time, which I will get to in more detail below, and anything from physical exercise to valium and deep breathing exercises should help. Of course I already knew that because I've been dealing with it since I was 20 or so.

We agreed that additional therapy sessions will help me. I have a lot that I want to talk about and get off my chest, and I need an outlet for it. So I will go in to talk with him once a week for the next month and see how it goes.

Apparently I have numerous residual emotional issues related to my breakup and relationship with my son's mom, abandonment issues regarding her and the kid, feelings of inadequacy, personal resentment, and destructive self defense mechanisms. I sabotage myself, or whatever.

My primary problem is the anxiety. My anxiety attacks, which can be mild and annoying, or more severe and cause me to completely panic and forget how to breathe, or throw up (which happened this weekend) are usually triggered by the same things each time: money worries, the kid, and the kid's mom.

I can't turn the anxiety off, but with the help of Xanax I can mitigate its effects. Therapy sessions should help keep it at bay by giving me a vocal outlet for my emotions and concerns.

:heart: Good luck with those treatments (and I don't mean just the Xanax) and it's good you get that sorted out now before it becomes a major issue. I think when your kid grows up a bit more, you physically heal up a bit more, your emotional levels will calm down a bit. Changing up the diet for the better and talking things out is the healthiest way to do that.

:heart: good luck!

If you are free(ish) next weekend, chim and I could bring you an emergancy bottle of help if you need it.
 

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,396
463
648
43
Austin
Aside from soccer games, I am freeish next weekend. I may be a wreck still, though. And my house hasn't been cleaned in 2 months. It's a disaster.






I sound like such a fag right now.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
40,833
5,894
723
Robin Hood Country
Aside from soccer games, I am freeish next weekend. I may be a wreck still, though. And my house hasn't been cleaned in 2 months. It's a disaster.






I sound like such a fag right now.

If it were me I'd come round and clean your place for you. I've often wished in my despair that someone would come and be a maid for a day, having a cluttered and messy place makes everything seem so much mentally worse to me.

Maybe if you're super nice to dbz (reach around?) he'll come in a french maids outfit and sort you out. :hi2u:
 

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,396
463
648
43
Austin
If it were me I'd come round and clean your place for you. I've often wished in my despair that someone would come and be a maid for a day, having a cluttered and messy place makes everything seem so much mentally worse to me.

Maybe if you're super nice to dbz (reach around?) he'll come in a french maids outfit and sort you out. :hi2u:

I get pissed off when people touch my shit. I could never do a maid.


Well, employ one.
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
16,993
453
298
42
Aside from soccer games, I am freeish next weekend. I may be a wreck still, though. And my house hasn't been cleaned in 2 months. It's a disaster.

I sound like such a fag right now.

Don't worry, the fags will come by and in whirlwind fashion the house will be devine and meals will be prepared.
 

plot

Morning Boehner
Oct 16, 2006
20,031
4,165
323
kansas city
You need to re associate your feelings of anxiety with something else. From now on instead of puking you need to masterbate. if it works as planned, in the future when you get anxious, you'll get a hard on... And pretty soon you'll look forward to being stressed out.
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
71,770
23,492
1,073
Steam
mattressfish
I cancelled a psychologist appointment over lunch today when a psychiatrist I preferred called me and told me he had an opening instead. The bad thing is I lost $75 on that decision but I felt better about it overall. This psychiatrist has a practice that focuses on cognitive therapy with medication as a last resort. He's out of network, so it bit me in the ass pretty good, but I think it did some help. And he said he can get me some of that back. Plus I now have the power of Xanax.

We didn't talk for too long. Just over an hour and 20 minutes, and a lot of that was for the initial psyche eval. The good news is that both he and my doctor agreed that I am neither crazy nor bipolar. I do occasionally get a bit depressed (whenever I don't have the kid) however I don't have manic or grandiose episodes, suicidal thoughts, consistent crippling depression or any other serious symptoms. I do, however, suffer from anxiety attacks. General Anxiety Disorder. Lucky me. It runs in our family to varying degrees of seriousness, and I have a moderate version of it. The same things seem to set off my episodes each time, which I will get to in more detail below, and anything from physical exercise to valium and deep breathing exercises should help. Of course I already knew that because I've been dealing with it since I was 20 or so.

We agreed that additional therapy sessions will help me. I have a lot that I want to talk about and get off my chest, and I need an outlet for it. So I will go in to talk with him once a week for the next month and see how it goes.

Apparently I have numerous residual emotional issues related to my breakup and relationship with my son's mom, abandonment issues regarding her and the kid, feelings of inadequacy, personal resentment, and destructive self defense mechanisms. I sabotage myself, or whatever.

My primary problem is the anxiety. My anxiety attacks, which can be mild and annoying, or more severe and cause me to completely panic and forget how to breathe, or throw up (which happened this weekend) are usually triggered by the same things each time: money worries, the kid, and the kid's mom.

I can't turn the anxiety off, but with the help of Xanax I can mitigate its effects. Therapy sessions should help keep it at bay by giving me a vocal outlet for my emotions and concerns.

FWIW, I've occasionally suffered from panic attacks myself and then anxiety about when I'll have another panic attack. Rinse and repeat. Being a completely logical book nerd, I found that reading about then helped me IMMENSELY. You've got time staring at walls, so if you're interested, I'd love to send ya a book. :heart:
 

Thorn Bird

Forum Mom
May 24, 2005
14,764
20
41
i've got depression, anxiety, ptsd and add. from now on, i'm going to list the alphabet behind my name on any doc's list and tell them to rearrange the letters any way they like. i have anxiety spirals and depressive spirals. they're less and less frequent lately, but it can all change on a dime. good thing is...i can recognize early symptoms, and my therapist now knows me well enough to know how to take me in any form i come, and how best to deal with me. sometimes i piss her off, which is fun, because she can get bitchy right to me. :fly:

i've been in therapy for over two years. i love my sessions. i used to go once a week...now i'm more every other week. with my therapist listing me first for any cancellations she may have. :D

i personally think you're going to love therapy. it's fascinating to go to and learn from. it's even more fascinating (when you're at a stable, healthy point) to try to mind-fuck your therapist. :fly:

i don't think i'll ever be without another therapist again. i think everyone should have one. it's a great safe place to unleash, let go, freak out, or dance around naked with joy. i assume most of these are true, anyway.

i'm proud of you. very, very proud of you. the hardest step when you're anxious and depressed is picking up the phone. check. awesome start. :heart:
 

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,396
463
648
43
Austin
i've got depression, anxiety, ptsd and add. from now on, i'm going to list the alphabet behind my name on any doc's list and tell them to rearrange the letters any way they like. i have anxiety spirals and depressive spirals. they're less and less frequent lately, but it can all change on a dime. good thing is...i can recognize early symptoms, and my therapist now knows me well enough to know how to take me in any form i come, and how best to deal with me. sometimes i piss her off, which is fun, because she can get bitchy right to me. :fly:

i've been in therapy for over two years. i love my sessions. i used to go once a week...now i'm more every other week. with my therapist listing me first for any cancellations she may have. :D

i personally think you're going to love therapy. it's fascinating to go to and learn from. it's even more fascinating (when you're at a stable, healthy point) to try to mind-f*ck your therapist. :fly:

i don't think i'll ever be without another therapist again. i think everyone should have one. it's a great safe place to unleash, let go, freak out, or dance around naked with joy. i assume most of these are true, anyway.

i'm proud of you. very, very proud of you. the hardest step when you're anxious and depressed is picking up the phone. check. awesome start. :heart:

It wasn't hard for me at all. I have no problem asking for h3lp. (Obviously)

I felt good after I left the loony bin yesterday. I felt like I could see things more clearly, and understand them for what they are. It may take me a while to come to terms with the fact that a chapter of my life has closed. It's a bitter pill for me to swallow. It affects my self esteem, my ego, the burden of guilt I bear every single day, and the desire to give my child a stable, normal family. But I have to face the fact that it's over. And I have to move on. And once I get my mobility back I will be able to go out with friends and hit the gym again. Maybe get my life back to normal. 2 months is a long time.