Sp`ange
Flaccid Member
Sp`ange
Flaccid Member
oh yeah, there was this one time i was annoying my sister (me? annoy? i dont believe her) at a gas station. mom was getting gas and i got out to clean the windows with the squeege. i dont remember exact details but i know i was being a dick. somehow i opened the sliding door on the mini-van and my sister tried to kick me. she kicked the squeegee. the squeegee landed just above my eye. i was holding my eye with blood gushing out of my hand and it freaked the brown shit out of my sister 
i got a few stitches just below my eyebrow on the left eye for that one.
i got a few stitches just below my eyebrow on the left eye for that one.
This is long.
When I was 16 (just got my license) I drove my moms grocery getter to the tennis courts to play tennis with my friends. I get stuck playing this jackass kid that nobody liked, and he was realy pissing me off so I told him to STFU or I was going to kick his ass. Of course he could not keep his mouth shut and had enough of this shit so I charge the net and attempt to jump over it to give him a beating. Well I did not clear the net, I caught my foot on the net and fell on my hands with my arms locked!!!! I get up and my elbows started swelling up bad. A few min's later my elbows are the size of fuckin softballs,,, now I am thinking I need to get home but does anyone want to drive me home??? Hell no! So I have one of my friends put me in the car and start it for me. By this time I can't move my elbows at all and the pain is horrid. I drive the 2 miles home, and somehow manage to get the car into the driveway. Fuck now what?? I can't open the door or even put the car into park, so I lay my forehead on the horn and keep honking until my mom comes outside. She is yelling at me to stop honking and come inside. I am yelling back I CAN'T I THINK I BROKE MY ARMS!!!!!!!!! She puts the car in park , turns it off and helps me out. In the house we go for some ice (like that is going to fucking help) My dad takes a look and says " We might need to get to the ER". Back in the car I go on our way to the hospital. Get to the hospital and go into the ER. The doc come's in and suggests that we take some x-rays to see what kind of damage is done. The wheel me into the X-ray room where a VERY large german woman is waiting to take my x-rays. She wheels me next to the table and grabs my left arm and flops it on that cold hard metal table! As soon as my arm hits that table I stand up in the wheelchair and kick her as hard as I can in the knee! She drops like a brick and starts yelling at me, and of course I am yelling back at chewbacca telling her to take it easy!!! 2 other nurses come in to "restrain" me and they very gently put my arm on the table to take the x-ray..... Glad that's over so they wheel me back into this room to wait for the doc again. He come's in , puts up the x-rays and tell's me I have broken the "radial head" in both elbows, and he has to "set" them at 90 deg angles before he can put the cast on. Then he tell's me he heard what I did to chewbacca and if I kick him the result will not be good. They finally get my arms set and the cast's on. (that was probably the most painful thing I have ever gone through) I had to keep those damn casts on for 4 weeks. Try being 16 and not being able to wipe your ass for 4 weeks!!!
Notes:
1. 3_ft_9 breaks both elbows while trying to jump over a tennis net.
2. 3_ft_9 kicks x-ray nurse (aka. chewbacca) in the knee.
3. The doc sets my arms before the cast's can go on.
4. I can't wipe my ass for 4 weeks.
The end.
When I was 16 (just got my license) I drove my moms grocery getter to the tennis courts to play tennis with my friends. I get stuck playing this jackass kid that nobody liked, and he was realy pissing me off so I told him to STFU or I was going to kick his ass. Of course he could not keep his mouth shut and had enough of this shit so I charge the net and attempt to jump over it to give him a beating. Well I did not clear the net, I caught my foot on the net and fell on my hands with my arms locked!!!! I get up and my elbows started swelling up bad. A few min's later my elbows are the size of fuckin softballs,,, now I am thinking I need to get home but does anyone want to drive me home??? Hell no! So I have one of my friends put me in the car and start it for me. By this time I can't move my elbows at all and the pain is horrid. I drive the 2 miles home, and somehow manage to get the car into the driveway. Fuck now what?? I can't open the door or even put the car into park, so I lay my forehead on the horn and keep honking until my mom comes outside. She is yelling at me to stop honking and come inside. I am yelling back I CAN'T I THINK I BROKE MY ARMS!!!!!!!!! She puts the car in park , turns it off and helps me out. In the house we go for some ice (like that is going to fucking help) My dad takes a look and says " We might need to get to the ER". Back in the car I go on our way to the hospital. Get to the hospital and go into the ER. The doc come's in and suggests that we take some x-rays to see what kind of damage is done. The wheel me into the X-ray room where a VERY large german woman is waiting to take my x-rays. She wheels me next to the table and grabs my left arm and flops it on that cold hard metal table! As soon as my arm hits that table I stand up in the wheelchair and kick her as hard as I can in the knee! She drops like a brick and starts yelling at me, and of course I am yelling back at chewbacca telling her to take it easy!!! 2 other nurses come in to "restrain" me and they very gently put my arm on the table to take the x-ray..... Glad that's over so they wheel me back into this room to wait for the doc again. He come's in , puts up the x-rays and tell's me I have broken the "radial head" in both elbows, and he has to "set" them at 90 deg angles before he can put the cast on. Then he tell's me he heard what I did to chewbacca and if I kick him the result will not be good. They finally get my arms set and the cast's on. (that was probably the most painful thing I have ever gone through) I had to keep those damn casts on for 4 weeks. Try being 16 and not being able to wipe your ass for 4 weeks!!!
Notes:
1. 3_ft_9 breaks both elbows while trying to jump over a tennis net.
2. 3_ft_9 kicks x-ray nurse (aka. chewbacca) in the knee.
3. The doc sets my arms before the cast's can go on.
4. I can't wipe my ass for 4 weeks.
The end.
thrawn said:oh yeah, there was this one time i was annoying my sister (me? annoy? i dont believe her) at a gas station. mom was getting gas and i got out to clean the windows with the squeege. i dont remember exact details but i know i was being a dick. somehow i opened the sliding door on the mini-van and my sister tried to kick me. she kicked the squeegee. the squeegee landed just above my eye. i was holding my eye with blood gushing out of my hand and it freaked the brown shit out of my sister
i got a few stitches just below my eyebrow on the left eye for that one.
My sister once hit me in the back of the head with a garden hoe because I told her she had small boobs
It hurt like hell too.3_ft_9 said:
So since you're from missouratucky, I'm guessing that your cousin Jimbobillyboblittlejoe came over and wiped your ass for you??
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
BigDov said:My sister once hit me in the back of the head with a garden hoe because I told her she had small boobs
i LOL'd just now
one of the most disturbing events for me growing up was breaking grandpas hoe(take the jokes and shove em). at least it wasnt on my head. small boobs
how old were you?thrawn said:i LOL'd just now
one of the most disturbing events for me growing up was breaking grandpas hoe(take the jokes and shove em). at least it wasnt on my head. small boobs
I was definitely old enough to know better..... I was about 11 I think.