I hit myself in the leg with a sledgehammer...

S

smileynev

Guest
...not one of the big ones, just a hand sledge. I was using it to put in a post for the dog and I missed it on one of the swings. Made a little egg on my leg a few inches below the knee. Hurt like the dickens.

Please describe in detail any humorous self inflicted injuries you may have experienced. Especially you, Jaxxor.
 

Galen

Flaccid Member
Nov 25, 2004
3,354
0
0
Ireland
I have never inflicted injury on myself, no broken any bones!
I have a faint scar on my back from surgery less than a year ago, but that is where the dermatological adjuncts end!
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,104
37,780
1,823
Houston
When I was younger, I was standing on a friends shoulders in a swimming pool and dove off. Well the water was somewhat shallow so I hit bottom with my head and had a bald spot where it ripped out a patch of hair.

It was hot.
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
I winced in sympathy for you.

The immediate story that comes to mind is one that happened to my little brother, he of the airport shits. He was messing around in the garden with a pitchfork, and decided he was through and wanted to go in. He took the pitchfork and meant to stab it in the ground and leave it sticking up. Bad idea.

Little fucker stuck that thing straight into his foot, breaking two bones and making a helluva mess. Spent 3 days in the hospital, and we didn't get to take a vacation that year. Dumb bastard.

right off hand I can't think of any of mine. will come back later
 

BigDov

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
9,646
3
41
50
close to Seattle
The day after my 21st birthday, a couple friends and I thought it was a good idea to go paint-balling. So we caravaned out into the woods to this place ran by a guy who insisted on being called "Sarge". We waited around for more people to show up, and show up they did- an Asian gang. He set all of us up with our guns, sighted them in, and split us up into teams; basically, us against the Asians. He sent them out into the woods first and held us back to give us a pep talk. "They might have superior numbers, but you guys have the advantage of superior weaponry and tactics. Go in there and take 'em out." We're kinda looking at each other like WTF??? This guy's nuts. SO off we go.

There's this little town set up in the woods that they're defending...... we split up into a half circle and start going in. My pal Lyn and I are pinned down behind a woodpile, about 25 feet away from this house that 3 of the opposition are in. I tell Lyn that on the count of three, I'm making a run for the window and he needs to cover me. 1... 2.... 3..... off I go. Paintballs are whizzing by from both directions as I'm running toward the house, I jump and dive through the window, grabbing this little rafter on my way through to swing myself in. I shoot all of 'em and yell at Lyn to join me.

He comes in and looks at me with this huge smile on his face. "I don't know how you made it, that was cool." And we're kinda laughing about it for a minute while we wait for the rest of our team. He looks down at the ground for some reason, and says, "Is that blood??" I look, and sure enough it is. From me. There's blood pooling on the ground and running down my gun. What the hell? I look at my hand..... yeah that's where it's coming from. When I dove through the window, I had the gun in my left hand and grabbed the rafter with my right. Apparently there was a nail on the rafter. It tore my middle finger open from the second knuckle down to the first, about a quarter of an inch from there, it got me again, then about halfway down my palm, got me again, then in the meaty part of the palm where the thumb's at, got me again. Blood was just streaming off of my hand. Shit.

I let Sarge know that I'm wounded, he takes a look at me and says "Fuck. Let's go." Back to the main area we go....... and he starts yelling at his wife. "GODDAMMIT I'VE GOT SOMEONE WOUNDED HERE, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE AND TAKE CARE OF THIS!" My eyes get wide. He looks at me again and says, "You get bandaged and get the fuck back out there!" My eyes get wider as I'm thinking to myself, 'what the hell is wrong with this guy??' Then he's yelling at his wife again- "HAVE YOU GOT THAT FUCKING FIRST AID KIT YET??? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??" And I'm just thinking to myself, 'he's going to hit her if she doesn't get a fucking move-on' but he ends up NOT hitting her.

I get all bandaged up and finish the day off... it kicked ass.


Cliffs:

1. BigNev asks for details
2. I give details.
3. I've still got a scar and limited range of motion from injury
4. ...
5. profit? :)
 
S

smileynev

Guest
BigDov said:
Cliffs:

1. BigNev asks for details
2. I give details.
3. I've still got a scar and limited range of motion from injury
4. ...
5. profit? :)

He didn't find out your secret?

BTW, awesome story.
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
70,866
22,741
1,073
Steam
mattressfish
BigDov said:
The day after my 21st birthday, a couple friends and I thought it was a good idea to go paint-balling. So we caravaned out into the woods to this place ran by a guy who insisted on being called "Sarge". We waited around for more people to show up, and show up they did- an Asian gang. He set all of us up with our guns, sighted them in, and split us up into teams; basically, us against the Asians. He sent them out into the woods first and held us back to give us a pep talk. "They might have superior numbers, but you guys have the advantage of superior weaponry and tactics. Go in there and take 'em out." We're kinda looking at each other like WTF??? This guy's nuts. SO off we go.

There's this little town set up in the woods that they're defending...... we split up into a half circle and start going in. My pal Lyn and I are pinned down behind a woodpile, about 25 feet away from this house that 3 of the opposition are in. I tell Lyn that on the count of three, I'm making a run for the window and he needs to cover me. 1... 2.... 3..... off I go. Paintballs are whizzing by from both directions as I'm running toward the house, I jump and dive through the window, grabbing this little rafter on my way through to swing myself in. I shoot all of 'em and yell at Lyn to join me.

He comes in and looks at me with this huge smile on his face. "I don't know how you made it, that was cool." And we're kinda laughing about it for a minute while we wait for the rest of our team. He looks down at the ground for some reason, and says, "Is that blood??" I look, and sure enough it is. From me. There's blood pooling on the ground and running down my gun. What the hell? I look at my hand..... yeah that's where it's coming from. When I dove through the window, I had the gun in my left hand and grabbed the rafter with my right. Apparently there was a nail on the rafter. It tore my middle finger open from the second knuckle down to the first, about a quarter of an inch from there, it got me again, then about halfway down my palm, got me again, then in the meaty part of the palm where the thumb's at, got me again. Blood was just streaming off of my hand. Shit.

I let Sarge know that I'm wounded, he takes a look at me and says "Fuck. Let's go." Back to the main area we go....... and he starts yelling at his wife. "GODDAMMIT I'VE GOT SOMEONE WOUNDED HERE, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE AND TAKE CARE OF THIS!" My eyes get wide. He looks at me again and says, "You get bandaged and get the fuck back out there!" My eyes get wider as I'm thinking to myself, 'what the hell is wrong with this guy??' Then he's yelling at his wife again- "HAVE YOU GOT THAT FUCKING FIRST AID KIT YET??? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??" And I'm just thinking to myself, 'he's going to hit her if she doesn't get a fucking move-on' but he ends up NOT hitting her.

I get all bandaged up and finish the day off... it kicked ass.


Cliffs:

1. BigNev asks for details
2. I give details.
3. I've still got a scar and limited range of motion from injury
4. ...
5. profit? :)

HAHAHAHAHHA. Thats awesome.
 

b_sinning

Erect Member
Nov 22, 2004
22,790
47
41
44
Savannah, GA
Coming home from bar hoping one night with a freind of mine. We were cutting through a park close to my house and saw a guy slapping a girl around. We took off chasing him to slap him around some and he hurtled the iron spike fence around a monument. My friend made the jump but when I went my foot slipped. I landed with a spike through my under arm out the front of my shoulder. I yelled for my friend and pulled myself off the fence. He ran back to see if the girl needed to go to the hospital with us. She was gone and the guy vanished.
I had no clue how bad I was hurt just that my arm didn't work and I was bleeding badily. We get to the hospital and I keep blacking out in the waiting room. My friend keeps bitching at the nurse to check me out. They take me in back and peel my shirt off me and all the nerves and the major artery is exposed and hanging out. They freak and end up giving me emergency surgery. The doctor said I was one of the luckest SOBs he's ever seen. He says If I had nicked that artery I would have bleed to death before I made the hospital.
I still have a huge scar around my shoulder/underarm and no feeling around the scar.