Hawt I have decided to follow Lucifer

I saw some of the Sunday CBS Morning Show and they were interviewing southerners and Trump fans. They were really in love with the guy and said they “loved him”. That’s more scary to me than any Satanic Panic at the moment.

None of it should bother me but I have feelings for people I’ll be leaving behind.
One is a fake evil in the world (or at least exploited, even for those who do believe) and the other is real. I’m more afraid of the real one too.

I hope it doesn’t bother you man. I don’t know what you do or don’t believe, but one thing you better believe is people (myself included) are happy to get the chance to know you. Time won’t change that.
 
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Well, thank you.

I fear the fake and real evil just because it’s bad, that’s all. I consider people who take a religion and twist it until it meets their needs in an evil way pretty dangerous and wish it didn’t effect so many people. Like the 911 hijackers and those types. They killed a lot of innocent people and changed the world in a negative way.

What the right wing (and some of the left too) are doing is detrimental to society as a whole and affects everyone negatively. That’s what bothers me the most. In a perfect world, kindness would rule and shit like 911 or Jonestown wouldn’t happen. But I’m a dreamer.

As far as faith goes, I went to a Catholic school for 11 years. Long enough to know organized religion doesn’t cut it for me. Especially if it’s run by hypocrites. I also don’t believe in a god the way most people do. I DO believe there’s something more powerful than us, not necessarily running all this shit, or created it, or whatever, but I’ve had two what I’d call “near-death” experiences. The most recent was last January. I didn’t see a god, or see anything. But I felt something, and it made me comfortable, the most comfortable I’ve ever been. Then I wasn’t so comfortable and was told that I had “flatlined during surgery and…” that’s when the nurse looked at me funny because I was saying what she was saying in unison. I knew what she was saying.

Take that however you want.
 
Well, thank you.

I fear the fake and real evil just because it’s bad, that’s all. I consider people who take a religion and twist it until it meets their needs in an evil way pretty dangerous and wish it didn’t effect so many people. Like the 911 hijackers and those types. They killed a lot of innocent people and changed the world in a negative way.

What the right wing (and some of the left too) are doing is detrimental to society as a whole and affects everyone negatively. That’s what bothers me the most. In a perfect world, kindness would rule and shit like 911 or Jonestown wouldn’t happen. But I’m a dreamer.

As far as faith goes, I went to a Catholic school for 11 years. Long enough to know organized religion doesn’t cut it for me. Especially if it’s run by hypocrites. I also don’t believe in a god the way most people do. I DO believe there’s something more powerful than us, not necessarily running all this shit, or created it, or whatever, but I’ve had two what I’d call “near-death” experiences. The most recent was last January. I didn’t see a god, or see anything. But I felt something, and it made me comfortable, the most comfortable I’ve ever been. Then I wasn’t so comfortable and was told that I had “flatlined during surgery and…” that’s when the nurse looked at me funny because I was saying what she was saying in unison. I knew what she was saying.

Take that however you want.
I believe there’s something to reality that has some sort of purpose. I don’t think anyone knows what it is or even that we are meant to. All I know is life is reality learning about its self. I don’t think it cares about what religion people are. I hope it cares about learning what is good.

For all I know the universe is becoming a god that will learn how to be rid of evil things. Maybe there were many before it and it’s getting a little better each time. This is just speculation and maybe wishful thinking. But if all the universe wanted to do was exist it wouldn’t have created life. Or maybe it’s purely mathematical chance that life began. Either way it’s very impressive.

The way I see it, the universe has to be infinite. It makes no sense for it to have been created because it has to have had a cause to have a reaction. I think it’s fair to say that has the most scientific backing considering everything that has been proven by science has been done so by observing cause and effect. Or at the least observing effect and being clueless of the cause or lack of cause.

Another speculation I have is that the universe is in an infinite loop of beginning and ending. Like a coin toss of “is and is not”. The problem with this idea is, what caused the coin toss? Maybe the other side of the coin. Maybe a higher power. Maybe the other side of the coin is the higher power respectively. Or maybe the coin is really an infinite sided die.

The greater point is that I don’t have an answer. I choose to think creatively about it because I think creative thinking is the aspect of science that drives us to test those questions. When creative thinking becomes faith it no longer questions. It’s also no longer creative thinking. As always, humanities greatest weakness seems to be our pride, in this case the pride in believing we are right.

I can’t give science the final word though. It’s not always right. Plus I’m not a scientist. I’m too philosophical for science. I’m always focused on questions that science isn’t close enough to understanding.

Considering all that, I should probably focus my life on art if I wanted to be at my happiest. If only I were good enough. The modern culture is too saturated with art for me to be content with my own. At least that’s what I tell myself.
 
If you want a good idea of what modern Satanism is check out The Satanic Temple website. It’s science based. No belief involved. I know you lived through the satanic panic… twice, so it’s probably skewing your perception of what I’m talking about. I don’t want to do bad things.

I actually play with the band and do nursing home gigs (well those are few in number with covid). They both make me happy. Practice today was the highlight of the month. We’ve been unable to get together because of covid.
I was just reading their "About" - wow, they went long. It sounds cool, other than the controversial naming. Sounds a lot like Unitarians, although, a lot of them a basically low-level practising Christians.
I was glad to see it's not a group based on a belief in Satan or the supernatural. I'm confident there will be people who are pretty fucked up in the head there, just like with other religions. And that can make one's own head(you) bad due to frustration. Sorry, no perfect group out there.
I think the TST people are onto something: first, trust science. Science says all people are fucked up sometimes.

I think you're a good dude, just looking for some clarity and sense in our fucked up planet. Be kind to yourself, the planet isn't counting on you for anything, it's just nice if you help out.
And good job going to the nursing homes.
 
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Considering all that, I should probably focus my life on art if I wanted to be at my happiest. If only I were good enough. The modern culture is too saturated with art for me to be content with my own. At least that’s what I tell myself.
A very common feeling. Many of us limit ourselves terribly by comparing our stuff to other people's stuff. Planetary dominance isn't necessary.:rolleyes:
 
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I was just reading their "About" - wow, they went long. It sounds cool, other than the controversial naming. Sounds a lot like Unitarians, although, a lot of them a basically low-level practising Christians.
I was glad to see it's not a group based on a belief in Satan or the supernatural. I'm confident there will be people who are pretty fucked up in the head there, just like with other religions. And that can make one's own head(you) bad due to frustration. Sorry, no perfect group out there.
I think the TST people are onto something: first, trust science. Science says all people are fucked up sometimes.

I think you're a good dude, just looking for some clarity and sense in our fucked up planet. Be kind to yourself, the planet isn't counting on you for anything, it's just nice if you help out.
And good job going to the nursing homes.
It’s basically a political movement. They work on getting tax exemption to show how ridiculous tax exemption for religion is. The also protect students who are being forced to pray and shit. One school had a religious open forum and they signed up to present at it, with pamphlets and everything. The forum got shut down. It shows that it wasn’t open at all and they where expecting to shove Christianity down people’s throats. They also work with women’s reproduction rights.

The name IMO is purely there to give them the attention they need to make a difference. I’m sure there are fucked up individuals there; many are ex-christians after all. There are no perfect groups, but the better groups have a method of improving. Faith is a method of accepting fucked up shit. Not that I’m affiliated with TST. I’ve got enough sense to not label myself a satanist in the real world. If I had a charter near by that might be a different story, but I doubt it. I like to think I’ve transcended labels. If there’s one that fits I haven’t found it.

Thanks man. I’ve got issues that are unrelated as far as I can tell. We all have ups and downs. Mine have always been extreme. I’m not sure why a musical project I enjoy got the blame. It usually works out that way which is why I rarely open up. It sucks because religious people don’t have to explain there fucked up beliefs prior to getting help. It’s just one more hurdle to jump over that I usually don’t have the energy for.
 
Seems I’m out of my slump. A talked to a couple of humans. Go figure. Probably still need therapy. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. Nothing like planning, more of a lack of desire to live. I did a workout with a buddy and it helped a lot. I did share with the wife even though I didn’t want to. It’s a step in the right direction. I usually just pretend I never had a problem when I start to feel better.

I’m not really looking for advice here. I’m just trying to become more comfortable with sharing.
 
Seems I’m out of my slump. A talked to a couple of humans. Go figure. Probably still need therapy. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. Nothing like planning, more of a lack of desire to live. I did a workout with a buddy and it helped a lot. I did share with the wife even though I didn’t want to. It’s a step in the right direction. I usually just pretend I never had a problem when I start to feel better.

I’m not really looking for advice here. I’m just trying to become more comfortable with sharing.
Well, if you ever need to talk over a warm pint of wee, let me know.
 
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