Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
- Sep 30, 2004
An allegedly drunk driver with a taste for trickery and keroke failed to foil a police breathalyzer machine after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," Woodlands Police Insp. Tom McDonald said.
"I've never heard of anything like this before," the 28-year veteran said.
Arrested Sunday after his vehicle was pulled over on Hwy. 45 in The Woodlands, the driver was loaded into a cruiser and taken to a Woodlands Police station for testing.
En route, Sgt. James Buchanan said, the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the squad car.
At the station the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine," he said.
It didn't work, Buchanan said.
The machine registered two readings of more than twice the legal blood alcohol limit. The man was charged with impaired driving and driving over the limit and was released on a promise to appear in a Bradford court on March 31st.
I hope hes at least brushed his teeth since then:ugh: