I don't think I can make this crap up

Onnotangu

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http://www.madison.com/tct/news/stories/259475

Crandon man bail set for donut truck theft

Mike Miller — 11/29/2007 3:33 pm
Cash bail of $2,100 was set today for Warren G. Whitelightning of Crandon, the man who allegedly led police on a high-speed chase through Madison's west after stealing a Krispy Kreme Donut truck when he was drunk early Saturday morning.
Whitelightning was officially charged in Dane County Circuit Court today in a criminal complaint alleging several offenses. He is being charged with shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages from the Open Pantry on University Avenue, stealing the doughnut truck, ramming a University of Wisconsin Police car, attempting to elude pursing officers, operating after revocation, his fourth time drunk driving, and a hit and run.
Assistant District Attorney Michael Verveer conceded that the scene described in the criminal complaint of several squad cars chasing a donut truck around the west side could elicit laughter from many.
"Because what you have is two different police agencies chasing the defendant in a stolen Krispy Kreme donut truck with donuts flying out of the back of the truck," he said.
But he said the episode, "really is a danger to the community given the great recklessness of this stunt."
Verveer said the chase was captured on tape by video cameras in the pursing squad cars and predicted the tapes would hit the popular YouTube web site when they are released to the public. "But the truth of the matter is the defendant could have badly hurt members of the community with his reckless driving."
The episode began, according to the criminal complaint, when Whitelightning stumbled into the Open Pantry about 3 a.m. Saturday and went to the aisle where pickled sausages were. As the store clerk watched, Whitelightning pulled his hoodie up over his head and turned his back on the clerk, and dropped a box of the giant pickled sausages on the floor. He next took two six packs of beer and put them on the counter, then turned around. The store clerk took that opportunity to put the beer behind the counter and asked Whitelightning to leave, which he did.
Moments later, the clerk and Krispy Kreme driver watched as Whitelightning drove the truck around the parking lot twice then left on University Ave. Police were called.
Several officers were involved in a subsequent chase on University Avenue at speeds which at times reached 80 mph on University Avenue and lesser speeds on nearby residential streets.
At the corner of Kendall and Chamberlain Avenues, it appeared the truck had stopped. When University Officer Aaron Chapin stopped behind the donut truck, Whitelightning suddenly put the truck in reverse and backed toward Chapin. Chapin could not get out of the way because other officers were approaching, the complaint says, and Whitelightning rammed the truck into the squad car at about 10 to 15 miles per hour. Officer Chapin suffered neck and back injuries in the wreck and was treated at UW Hospital.
The chase ended when Whitelightning, going outbound on University in the inbound lane, suddenly crossed a cement median and nearly overturned, then sped on Locust Drive and stopped in a Copps Food parking lot. Whitelightning got out of the truck and lay down in the parking lot until police handcuffed him and put him back on his feet.
If convicted of all counts, he would face up to 9 1/2 years in prison on the felonies and an additional 26 months on the misdemeanor counts. Whitelightning also faces several traffic citations.
Video here: http://www.c3ktogo.com/news-video/?mgid=13264

Cops chasing a doughtnut truck...hilarity ensues.
 
What did those people in that house think the next morning when they went out to get the paper? "Hmm, must have been another doughnut shower last night."
 
hmmm, Mr. Whitelightning... eight giant red hot pickled sausages... two six packs of beer... a doughnut truck... high-speed chase...

yeah, you definitely can't do much better than that.
 
It's my understanding that they are authorized to use both strobes and sirens when this sort of bat signal lights up...








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