I can grab the whole thing with one hand

1. The number of times I've thrown up while intoxicated
2. The number of times I've smoked weed
3. The number of pics of my naughty bits I've sent to Kiki
4. The number of times I've quit smoking
 
I was standing next to this drop dead gorgeous woman on the elevator this morning when I looked down at her right hand and noticed that all of her fingers were missing.
 
I can count on one hand the number of traffic tickets I've had.

I can count on one hand the number of jobs I've had.