Step one: Don't call your usual computer geek. Call the Geek Squad and have them come over instead.
Step two: Let them tell you that a stick of ram has gone bad. The reason it went bad, they'll tell you, is becuase it was close to another component that was also warm and together they cuase the stick of ram to overheat and go bad. There is even a burn mark there- see? (actually just some dust)
Step three: Let them establish that it was a contributing factor but the problem is still there. But they have the ultimate solution! A format and reinstall of windows!
Step four: GS: Wait, you can't find you windows xp pro disc? oh that's ok, we have an oem copy of xp home in the squad car. It's only 200 bucks.
Step five: GS: Oh look at the time. My shift is over and I must head home. Yeah, the install isn't finished but you can just leave it and it'll be fine.
Next Day:
Step Six: GS: Good morning! How did the installation go? You mean you didn't check on it? It's ok, i'll just have to start over. I'll be here all day though.
Later in the day: I'm afraid you'll need some more software like antivirus and antispyware software-You have your own you say? Well the ones we have to offer are really alot better. Those combined with our monthly performance maintanence package with keep you computer in tip top health! You don't want any of those? Well... ok... but I wont' be able to garuantee any of my work.
Later: GS: There's a problem that can't fix. When your computer is shutting down, it will show the messge "It is now safe to shut off your computer." and you have to press the power button and your computer will turn off. There's nothing I can do to fix that.
Step Seven: Well I'm all done! Good thing too cuase my shift is almost over. Here's the bill. Call us anytime you have a problem!
So yeah just to explain it all in short. Ex and I had separated. Her mom usually has me do her computer repairs. I even built her computer for christ sake. She didn't call me at the time cuase we had just separated and she didn't know if it was still ok or what. So she calls the 'WEAK Squad" instead. Her complaint was just that her computer had become painfully slow. So slow that it would take her five minutes to boot.
After learning that my ex and i are still friends and see eachother all the time, she calls me and asks me to look at it cuase the problem is still there. it came back after the geek squad left. Go figure.
So first things first. She had a gig of ram before. two sticks of 512. They took out one stick leaving her with 512. She wants me to pick up some more ram. So i pick up a 1GB stick and head on over there. She kept the old stick of ram. Good. Let's put that in solo and run Memtest. Not a damn problem. She seems a little peeved. Well hold on, let me try it in the other slots incase a slot had gone bad instead. Nope. nothing wrong with the other two slots.
Ok, let's try all the ram including the new stick for a total of 2gigs of ram. Still not a single ram problem. Oh that burn mark? No, that's just some dust. *wipes it away with finger* See? (she gets more p.o'd) He said what on how it went bad? Wow. well, as you can see, he's already on the pipe.
So i look into her slow down problem. It is indeed still there. The whole system will freeze for 30 seconds. Turned out to be SCVHOST.EXE would take 100% of cpu power for the thirty seconds. All i had to do was turn off automatic updates and the problem was gone.
About three hours and i had cleaned out the dust inside her computer (wow it was BAD), tested and reinstalled all the ram, fixed her original problem, fixed the "It is now safe to shut off your computer."(had that fixed in five minutes. Enabled APM in power management) ran AdAware, Spysweeper, Hijackthis!, Housecall (all properly in safe mode) Everything was ok. Updated the motherboard and graphics card drivers. The tard used the ones that came with cd which is fine to get you going. But when their from 2002 it's important to update them you idiot. Done. Thankyou for using Tigersystems. Does your computer purr?
60 cash made.
in other news: i fucked my back up in construction and have been out of work all week.
Step two: Let them tell you that a stick of ram has gone bad. The reason it went bad, they'll tell you, is becuase it was close to another component that was also warm and together they cuase the stick of ram to overheat and go bad. There is even a burn mark there- see? (actually just some dust)
Step three: Let them establish that it was a contributing factor but the problem is still there. But they have the ultimate solution! A format and reinstall of windows!
Step four: GS: Wait, you can't find you windows xp pro disc? oh that's ok, we have an oem copy of xp home in the squad car. It's only 200 bucks.
Step five: GS: Oh look at the time. My shift is over and I must head home. Yeah, the install isn't finished but you can just leave it and it'll be fine.
Next Day:
Step Six: GS: Good morning! How did the installation go? You mean you didn't check on it? It's ok, i'll just have to start over. I'll be here all day though.
Later in the day: I'm afraid you'll need some more software like antivirus and antispyware software-You have your own you say? Well the ones we have to offer are really alot better. Those combined with our monthly performance maintanence package with keep you computer in tip top health! You don't want any of those? Well... ok... but I wont' be able to garuantee any of my work.
Later: GS: There's a problem that can't fix. When your computer is shutting down, it will show the messge "It is now safe to shut off your computer." and you have to press the power button and your computer will turn off. There's nothing I can do to fix that.
Step Seven: Well I'm all done! Good thing too cuase my shift is almost over. Here's the bill. Call us anytime you have a problem!
So yeah just to explain it all in short. Ex and I had separated. Her mom usually has me do her computer repairs. I even built her computer for christ sake. She didn't call me at the time cuase we had just separated and she didn't know if it was still ok or what. So she calls the 'WEAK Squad" instead. Her complaint was just that her computer had become painfully slow. So slow that it would take her five minutes to boot.
After learning that my ex and i are still friends and see eachother all the time, she calls me and asks me to look at it cuase the problem is still there. it came back after the geek squad left. Go figure.
So first things first. She had a gig of ram before. two sticks of 512. They took out one stick leaving her with 512. She wants me to pick up some more ram. So i pick up a 1GB stick and head on over there. She kept the old stick of ram. Good. Let's put that in solo and run Memtest. Not a damn problem. She seems a little peeved. Well hold on, let me try it in the other slots incase a slot had gone bad instead. Nope. nothing wrong with the other two slots.
Ok, let's try all the ram including the new stick for a total of 2gigs of ram. Still not a single ram problem. Oh that burn mark? No, that's just some dust. *wipes it away with finger* See? (she gets more p.o'd) He said what on how it went bad? Wow. well, as you can see, he's already on the pipe.
So i look into her slow down problem. It is indeed still there. The whole system will freeze for 30 seconds. Turned out to be SCVHOST.EXE would take 100% of cpu power for the thirty seconds. All i had to do was turn off automatic updates and the problem was gone.
About three hours and i had cleaned out the dust inside her computer (wow it was BAD), tested and reinstalled all the ram, fixed her original problem, fixed the "It is now safe to shut off your computer."(had that fixed in five minutes. Enabled APM in power management) ran AdAware, Spysweeper, Hijackthis!, Housecall (all properly in safe mode) Everything was ok. Updated the motherboard and graphics card drivers. The tard used the ones that came with cd which is fine to get you going. But when their from 2002 it's important to update them you idiot. Done. Thankyou for using Tigersystems. Does your computer purr?
60 cash made.
in other news: i fucked my back up in construction and have been out of work all week.
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