how do you get out of speeding tickets?

JAXvillain

Curly_Sue
Oct 13, 2004
68,732
1,999
923
Marklar
₥0
since automay is down....
this is pretty damned funny :)
I've never gotten out of a speeding ticket myself...only had like 3 in my life though

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
 
BAHAHAHAHAH. The cops in Utah have nothing to do but give tickets, so this would not work. If I told a cop [from utah] that I had shot someone he would probably get all nervous, draw down, and then shoot me in the face....twice.
 
fly said:
Isn't the speeding fine in Minnesota (during the day) $5? payable on the spot, I think I heard...

seriously

Montana has no speed limit after 8pm (this is no shens).
 
kiwi said:
So exactly how much was this ticket and how fast were you going?


20+ so about 250 or so bucks...

This isn't a one time thing.. its a 50 time thing. :(


Lawyer works, I highly advise it.
 
I think if I tried to pull that here in houston, the cops would just give me a rodney king-style beat-down, then when they didnt find a body in the trunk, theyd put me in there and roll the car in the nearest bayou. Then theyd go for donuts.