Hot Pocket tech support

Fat Burger

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
Portland, OR
This is completely real, a friend of mine called Hot Pocket today because he had lost the box with directions on cooking Hot Pockets, and needed assistance.


(Used with permission by Brian9000 of, all rights reserved, void where prohibited, FDIC insured)

(Not really FDIC insured)


transcript please

(only if its funny)

(seriously, only if I'm gonna laugh)


Oct 13, 2004
"um, hello? this damned thing came FROZEN!!!! :mad: how in the fuck am I supposed to eat a FROZEN HOT POCKET??? Do you not see the ironing in all this????"


Oct 15, 2004
Well, I took the initiative and decided to get some help too....

READ BOTTOM TO TOP, apparently their chat software is :tard:
<session ended>
CletusJones: Then perhaps you can help me with a problem I've been having with my Mr.Fusion unit...
Tom Ext 1608: no
CletusJones: really? not at all?
Tom Ext 1608: We don't carry this item.
CletusJones: it's really critical i get this part though, without it I cannot complete my machine.
CletusJones: it's a special type of cap. Dr.Brown said they'd be hard to find. It's possible it may be a special order.
Tom Ext 1608: What do you mean by flux capacitor
CletusJones: i needed a .5mF but James said you didn't have any of those
CletusJones: well, i'm looking for a 5mF flux capacitor
Tom Ext 1608: Thank you for contacting Digi-Key, how may I help you?
CletusJones: ok
James Ext 1725: they'll know more about this type of cap., one moment...
CletusJones: if you think it would help
James Ext 1725: would you want to chat with a tech to better assist you?
CletusJones: well, i could try, do you have 5mF flux capacitors then?
James Ext 1725: not sure?
CletusJones: do you think that i could sub a 5mF unit in there?
CletusJones: hmm...that's what dr. brown's plans called for.
James Ext 1725: .5mF doesn't show up a cap.
CletusJones: not at all?
James Ext 1725: it doesn't look like we would carry such a cap.
CletusJones: i'm making some modifications to my delorean
CletusJones: it would need to run in a car
CletusJones: 12vdc
James Ext 1725: what voltage on the cap?
James Ext 1725: let me checl for the cap.
CletusJones: ok, i'll email later
James Ext 1725: you will need to email [email protected] for the shipping issue.
CletusJones: .5 micro farad flux capacitor
James Ext 1725: the shipping issue would have to be brought up with our managers. WHat type of capacitor?
CletusJones: Also, do you have a large selection of capacitors? I'm looking for a rather special kind and couldn't find it in your inventory
CletusJones: no, i'm a virgin, this would be my first time. do i need to wear protection?
James Ext 1725: have you ordered from us before?
CletusJones: I dunno, I'm planning on modifying my delorean here and there but I don't have much money to spend. I figured that if you could cut me a deal on shipping, I could get more parts
James Ext 1725: what type of deal?
CletusJones: can you cut me a deal on shipping
James Ext 1725: ok
CletusJones: resistors, transistors, capacitors, and ICs.
CletusJones: I'm looking to purchase a rather large amount of electrical componenets
James Ext 1725: Thank you for contacting XXXXXX, how may I help you?


That was moderately amusing, more for the fact that it exists then the actual conversation.