hEY GUYS HELP ME!

elpmis: DAMN THIS FUCKER IS LAME. HE CAUGHT ME WITH MY PANTS DOWN, LITERALLY, IN THE MENS BATHROOM AT DENNYS. MUSTA USED SOME CHLOROFORM OR SOMETHING. NEXT THING YA KNOW I'M LOCKED IN HIS CLOSET WITH HIS FUCKING BLOW UP DOLL WITH BEA ARTHUR'S GLAMOUR SHOT STUCK TO IT AND HIS FUCKING SOCK PUPPETS. IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD EXCEPT FOR THE FUCKING AWFUL PUPPET SHOWS THE LITTLE WANKER PUTS ON AND MAKES ME WATCH. THEN HIS MOM CALLS HIM DOWN FOR DINNER AND "DESSERT'. I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER HEARD MORE MOANING AND NEIGHING IN MY LIFE. PLEASE SEND HELP, FOOD, AND A TASER.