I plastered my turkey this mornin' with some sweet ass butter, garlic, and SAGE.
Basted that shit like a pile of goo,
Rubbin on those breasts like such a fool
I took out my thermometer and poked that foul
Grandma just watched with a hilarious scowl.
Served up the avian with a side of gravy
Whistled for everyone to come to dinner like I was in the navy.
Sat at the table and drew the knife
Prayed to my jebus for the delivering of this precious life
Carved that shit up with the utmost care
Scarfed down the stuffing with the ferocity of a bear
Finished that up with a pumpkin pie
A good time was has, says I
*gobble gobble*