Ontopic Health Thread: post your AIDS, diseases and infekshunz here.

I should probably start soon though because my vision is failing at an incredible rate. And sometimes it’s actually too good. I’ve been able to watch TV in my bedroom without glasses lately, and that’s just stupid.
 
I can only read about half of what I type here and usually have to blow up stuff to read it. I blow up what you guys write, but skip my nonsense.
 
I should probably start soon though because my vision is failing at an incredible rate. And sometimes it’s actually too good. I’ve been able to watch TV in my bedroom without glasses lately, and that’s just stupid.
Audiobooks are good too. Levar Burton in particular from his podcast. I mean if you want poetry I'm happy to read to you!

Pretty morbid but I do wonder what I would crave if I had set time. These days I feel like experience and feeling is what I crave, that knowing of experience and the ups and downs. Its not about feeling happy but about going to the depths of each. I want to know them all.

I dunno how you feel about it.
 
Audiobooks are good too. Levar Burton in particular from his podcast. I mean if you want poetry I'm happy to read to you!

Pretty morbid but I do wonder what I would crave if I had set time. These days I feel like experience and feeling is what I crave, that knowing of experience and the ups and downs. Its not about feeling happy but about going to the depths of each. I want to know them all.

I dunno how you feel about it.

There’s one TV show I watch just because it make me feel. Sometimes I cry, several times an episode even.

I never did ask any of my doctors what my expiration date is and I doubt they’d be too accurate with one if I did ask. They were with my mom, but she had a different kind of cancer. They were within weeks of when they said she’d go.

I’ve also wondered if knowing would give me a different mindset, but I doubt it. I just have to try to do what I can today because tomorrow isn’t coming, and someday that’ll be an accurate assessment. I’m really not looking forward to when I can’t get up at all, and I see that coming soon. I was wondering earlier how soon I’ll have to just say goodbye here once I see typing is too much work. Sometimes it seems right around the corner.
 
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There’s one TV show I watch just because it make me feel. Sometimes I cry, several times an episode even.

I never did ask any of my doctors what my expiration date is and I doubt they’d be too accurate with one if I did ask. They were with my mom, but she had a different kind of cancer. They were within weeks of when they said she’d go.

I’ve also wondered if knowing would give me a different mindset, but I doubt it. I just have to try to do what I can today because tomorrow isn’t coming, and someday that’ll be an accurate assessment. I’m really not looking forward to when I can’t get up at all, and I see that coming soon. I was wondering earlier how soon I’ll have to just say goodbye here once I see typing is too much work. Sometimes it seems right around the corner.
I guess those mindset changes are quite a romantic thought and also aimed at people with the most able bodies. Can't be many of us that could go trekking the amazon or whatever.
 
There’s one TV show I watch just because it make me feel. Sometimes I cry, several times an episode even.

I never did ask any of my doctors what my expiration date is and I doubt they’d be too accurate with one if I did ask. They were with my mom, but she had a different kind of cancer. They were within weeks of when they said she’d go.

I’ve also wondered if knowing would give me a different mindset, but I doubt it. I just have to try to do what I can today because tomorrow isn’t coming, and someday that’ll be an accurate assessment. I’m really not looking forward to when I can’t get up at all, and I see that coming soon. I was wondering earlier how soon I’ll have to just say goodbye here once I see typing is too much work. Sometimes it seems right around the corner.
If you don't get the chance to say goodbye it'll be fine brother. Ain't nobody gonna judge on that. We love you and will miss you. That will have to suffice for us.
:heart:
 
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I got a mosquito bite On my knuckle that has swollen up and gotten a head on it and started traveling. I had a red line from it halfway down my hand. Luckily Benadryl seems to be helping as it’s getting smaller again.
 
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Abe Lincoln biography (Scholastic Book Club)
Hammer of the Gods Led Zeppelin bio
Eyes of the Dragon Stephen King
Jobs Isaacson

I’m sure there are a couple others.

I also got a Scholastic Book Club book in sixth grade called “101 Pollack Jokes” where I learned this:

There once was a Pole from Nantucket
Who said about sex, well, just fuck it
A young man did hear
Who had a dong like a spear
Did she like it? She took it.
she sucked it

I went to a Catholic school for 11 years
I think hammer of the gods is the zep biography I read. Also anything that says 101 (insert cultural, race, ethnic) jokes is a good one.
 
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I know I've told this story before, don't know if it was here or not, about pulling over on a siding/rest stop on the autobahn and there being a car that was facing backwards...with polish license plates. Like all those jokes were true...
 
Immi, some of that stuff you write could be considered pretty dark but really that's part of life too, and really, it's pretty damn inspiring. The way you take it in stride ( here at least, seemingly anyway ) , your selflessness about the whole thing and keeping up a sense of humor about it all is really something to be admired. Sort of a
 
Ok I fucked up and hit a phone button before I was ready to but everything said so far meant to be said.
 
Stop being drunk
No U GIF by MOODMAN
 
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Immi, some of that stuff you write could be considered pretty dark but really that's part of life too, and really, it's pretty damn inspiring. The way you take it in stride ( here at least, seemingly anyway ) , your selflessness about the whole thing and keeping up a sense of humor about it all is really something to be admired. Sort of a

Thanks. I’ve had exactly 2 incidences of what I consider “depressed” feelings over this. it’s like “Damn. The switch will go off soon. I’ll miss living.” Then I remember I’m almost to 10,000 straight wins on my FreeCell app and I forget all about dying and junk.

When I had the two near-death “experiences” in 2004, something changed in me. I feel I’ve been on borrowed time ever since and am lucky to still be here. I have more feelings of regret over what I could’ve done better, or differently, or period. My garage is a mess. My file cabinets need to be updated/cleaned out. I’ve been lax getting more stuff in my son’s name and getting him set for me to leave.

The worst part is that I’m a little less capable every day. I don’t want to be a drag on him anymore than I have been as of late. He made me lunch yesterday and does my laundry. I do nothing anymore. Can’t. Waaa Waaa
 
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I apologize if some of posts are incomplete or include excess nonsense. Sometimes, entire sentences disappear while I’m typing and either I don’t notice, or I try to replace it and that’s tiring.
 
I’ve had two nurses comment on how fast I move when they ask me to do something.

I’ve had enough time getting used to this shit that I know that when I’m getting up to do anything, I cluster several “chores” together and go quick, because if I move slowly in order to conserve energy, all I do is run out of air before I get anything done. Before I got sicker, and especially before I got injured, I had moves like a cat. I’m a 5’9” white guy who never got over 160lbs and could easily jump and grab a 10 ft basketball rim. I could *almost* dunk it when I was 30.
I think that’s part of the reason I was able to keep my leg, and how I managed to get so much mobility back. Some people can’t even tell anything was wrong with my legs until they see the scars, then they turn pale.

Yesterday, my oxygen would drop to 82% immediately when I stood up and take awhile to recover, with my heart rate around 118 BPM. Today, it doesn’t drop as fast but my heart rate does not raise fast to recover either. No two days are the same. Yesterday I ate seven Wheat Thins and a Coke for breakfast at noon after getting up at 3:30 am. Today I had leftover pizza at 8 am.

Im a creature of habit and schedule, and that kind of shit just drives me nutty.

blah blah blah again sorry not high yet either