Ontopic Health Thread: post your AIDS, diseases and infekshunz here.

Man I’m fuckin hurting today.

The wheels are in (slow) motion for the transplant, they’re afraid to try the surgery that killed me last weekend, and I feel like I have a spike running through my chest and out my shoulder blade.

I had two giant chest tubes and they removed one a couple days ago. That was the most painful of the two. The wound was left as is with bandages (see SMS thread) for two hours and I insisted it needed a stitch or three. Finally, they agreed. Instead of waiting 15 minutes for the drug people to send up the lidocaine, I got it stitched sans numbing. I laugh when I hurt. So I’m cracking up and I dialed up YouTube Brady Bunch “Sunshine Day” (it’s been in my head) and the hottie doctor lady started singing along with it. Holy fuck.

I’m literally a professional patient. I save everything. I have a mini Kleenex box full of condiments, spare spoons, etc because the food service people are so inept it’s ridiculous and one needs to be prepared for an extended stay in the death house.



That's a catchy tune
 
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I unpacked the stuff that came home with me from the hospital yesterday, including aftercare instructions. I was wondering why I hurt so fuckin much and assumed it was because I spent all my time in bed there and only up to pee in a jug thing, then back in bed, until the last day when I was walk tested and measured.

I’ve been taking about 1/3 as much pain meds as advised. There was a Rx at the hospital pharmacy they were going to bring up to me but I declined because I have a huge supply here. I’ve since regerted that. Oops
 
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Blurry, taken in haste.

I now have a visiting nurse three times a week for six weeks, but I bet that gets cut back to less or zero soon. I don’t care at this point, but I’m not turning it away either.

Appointment today for an X Ray and likely removal of the existing tube. More stitches without numbing too. It’s fast.

I hope they pull it, but only if I’ll be stable without it. I need to shower badly, I mean, a complete shower. I did a neck-up shampoo again yesterday and changed my drawers for the first time in over a month but this morning, I dropped trou to take a leak (I sit) and it was like snow falling. My sweats were dusted. BARF
 
Warning Sign GIF
 
X Ray didn’t look good.

The tube stays in place for now.

They said call the pulmonologist and push them to get the frickin wheels movin already.

That came from the lady doctor I refer to as the Porcuperson, and I told her about that today. She laughed, which was the first time I’ve seen her laugh. I made a psychopath laugh LOL
 
My @Valve1138 is honking like crazy today.

I took a giant dump earlier (Thanks Wernher!) and right after the launch, hooooonnnnnnkkkk. Then later I stood without using my arms/hands to boost upward and hooonnnnkkk.

One of the tests yesterday- she stuck it in a cup of water and I coughed. Bubbles. It’s weird. Humans are weird, or maybe I’m just weird. Hooonnnkkk
 
My @Valve1138 is honking like crazy today.

I took a giant dump earlier (Thanks Wernher!) and right after the launch, hooooonnnnnnkkkk. Then later I stood without using my arms/hands to boost upward and hooonnnnkkk.

One of the tests yesterday- she stuck it in a cup of water and I coughed. Bubbles. It’s weird. Humans are weird, or maybe I’m just weird. Hooonnnkkk

I enjoy the pictures, I find them interesting.

What did she put in a cup of water and is that the thing that honked, or bubbled, or both?

Did the honker bubble?
Did the bubbler honk?
We're either of them in water?
Do you got air where it's not supposed to be?
 
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I enjoy the pictures, I find them interesting.

What did she put in a cup of water and is that the thing that honked, or bubbled, or both?

Did the honker bubble?
Did the bubbler honk?
We're either of them in water?
Do you got air where it's not supposed to be?
He's turning into a human Snoozle. This is what comes of green eggs and ham.

dr seuss ham GIF
 
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I enjoy the pictures, I find them interesting.

What did she put in a cup of water and is that the thing that honked, or bubbled, or both?

Did the honker bubble?
Did the bubbler honk?
We're either of them in water?
Do you got air where it's not supposed to be?

She put the valve in the cup. It’s shaped like a dildo kind of and might be in the photo I posted of the tube sticking out. It didn’t honk under water, or in the water. It bubbled a little.

The purpose of the tube is to allow air that has gathered between lung and chest cavity to escape. If air gets trapped in there, the lung won’t displace it, then the lung can’t fill properly while inhaling. My lungs are super fragile. The operation I was going to get before I died was to “rough up” the surfaces of the lung and chest cavity to create adhesion so the air couldn’t build up. My lungs are also leaking.

Before they inserted the second and third chest tubes, I was constantly burping and farting, which is really abnormal for me. I rarely fart. After tubes, that all stopped but other weird stuff happened and changed daily. Part of the time, I was on wall suction, and through a box that collected fluids and stuff. Once they took me off the wall suction, I could feel rumbling in my chest (like a gasser in intestinal area) and then the box would gurgle. I could also make it gurgle by “bearing down”, like trying to shit while clenching butthole.

This valve is a lower octave than the one I had when discharged the first time. First one sounded like a plastic toy sax.
 
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