Happy Thanksgiving UF (lots of pics and a recipe)

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
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Ok, so any guesses on what we're gonna make today?
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Um, no, but good guess. It's ...
FRESH PUMPKIN PIE

And this isn't just any pie, it's make from whole pumpkin.

But Mr.acou .. ack ... hey baldy, doesn't pumpkin come in cans? Why screw with a whole pumpkin?

HEATHEN! Until you've had a pumpkin pie made with fresh pumpkin, you don't know what you've been missing. That, and typically they mix can pumpkin with butternut squash and other cheaper gourds. So you can have pumpkin pie or you have have mystery squash pie.

First thing to know is you can't make pie with any pumpkin. You need a pie pumpkin also known as a sugar pumpkin. They're sweeter and less stringy than the pumpkins you carve at Halloween. If in doubt if you have a sugar pumpkin, if its bigger than a bowling ball, it isn't a pie pumpkin. Speaking of Halloween, the best time to get a pie pumpkin is before Halloween. They're all over the place and they keep fine at room temp for months. Just look for one with a decently long stem, deep orange color, and no cuts or bruises. One pie pumpkin makes enough puree for 2 pies.

Now, lets start off by washing the pumpkins.
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I suppose you don't have to wash the pumpkins first, but remember that farmers use poop to fertilize the fields. If you want to bake poop and have your house smell like Drool's, be my guest.

Next, open the top of the pumpkin like you would a jack-o-lantern and take out the seeds and strings. Keep the seeds for roasting later. And now for a pic that reminds me of prom night ... :shifty: Nevermind. Forget I said that.
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So spread the seeds out to dry. *bonus mini recipe* Once dry you can roast them with a little butter. If you're getting crazy with it, add garlic powder and paprika for a kick or for sweet, add cinnamon and brown sugar. Mix them up in a fry pan with 2tbs butter per cup of seed and cook for 5 or so minutes. Then bake at 325 till golden brown. Hide them from bast_imret. He'll eat them all in one sitting, then go after your Goldfish crackers. Freaking bastard.
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Ok, now, but the whole pumpkin in the oven with the lid on. Bake at 350 till fork tender from the outside. That'll take about an hour to an hour and a half.
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After a short nap, we return to find the pumpkin done. They should be brown-orange like this. See the place where I pierced it with the fork? Should slide right in.
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theacoustician

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Sep 30, 2004
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See the water on the inside? Doing it this way, the pumpkin basically steams itself. Cutting it in half is how some recipes call for it, but I find that dries it out too much for the next part.
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While the pumpkins are cooling (leave the lids on), prebake your pie crusts. I know, I'm using premade crust. But at $0.99 for (2) 9" deep crusts, screw making it yourself.
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Ok, now that the pumpkin has cooled, get out a blender. Yes, a freaking blender. Dump the water inside the pumpkin into the blender. Cut the pumpkin in half.
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Score up the inside of the pumpkin with a fork. Why? For the same reason you wander around a gay bar with your pants unzipped : you get more meat that way
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Now scrape out the pumpkin meat and put it in the blender
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Notice its still a little fiberous. We're going to fix that.
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Start pulsing the blender a little at a time. If you're not careful here, you can and will burn up your blender. After a while, it will liquefy. Here I am slowly mixing the meat with the puree liquid at the bottom of the blender.
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theacoustician

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Sep 30, 2004
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Ok, now that the puree is completely liquefied, put it in a large saucepan on med-low heat and reduce it. You must stir constantly during this part. If you don't, it'll splatter and burn you. Reduce it for about 20 minutes. By the time you're done, you should be able to do this with it :
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Damn, all this work is making me hungry. I need something to eat.
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Awesome! Thanks Samuel L. Jackson! Aww, you brought chef salads for the chef and his sexy soux chef
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Damn, that was a good salad. Now measure out 1 1/2 c of pumpkin puree and mix with 1/2 c of dark brown sugar. Here's us gettin the premeasure on
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Mix these in a sauce pan and cook until the sugar is fully dissolved. It should have the consistancy of mashed potatoes when you're done.
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While you're doing this, get your soux chef to pre-measure out your liquids. Vanilla, sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, and heavy cream :drool:
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I know you're thinking, WTF is that goop she's pouring in?. It's love. That's the same love that's in all home cooked meals. Meals like mom used to make, back when times were simpler and everything wasn't so hectic. Meals that the family would all sit down at the table and eat together, just like a Norman Rockwell painting. By love, I mean :furry:
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
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Ok, this shit freaked me out. We were prepping the eggs when this happened. Do you see what I see?
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=

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:eek::eek::eek:
If I didn't want pie so badly, that shit would be on Ebay already.

So, the real secret to his is to use fresh spice. Fresh spice is about a bagillion more times potent than the precanned stuff at the store. Really makes the flavor pop out. This is what unground nutmeg looks like
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And here's what it looks like ground up. Notice the weirdness inside the nut?
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If you're got a farmer's market nearby, you can usually pick up all the spices freshly preground. That's what I did for the rest.

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How do you know that its fresh? If you open it up and it knocks you backwards cause its so potent, it's fresh. Otherwise, its not.
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
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Here's all the spices in the pie
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BARK BARK
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What is it, girl? Daddy's talking to the internet freaks about spices.

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

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Damnit, if you don't quit barking I'm gonna stuff you in a mayo jar and ...

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WTF was that?

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OH SHIT, SPICE WORM! LOOK OUT!

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theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
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Whew! That was a close one. Ok, now, mix the pumpkin puree, premeasured solids, premeasured liquids, and eggs together. Make sure the puree has cooled or temper in the eggs. If you don't, you'll have runny pumpkin pie with scrambled egg bits in it. I think that's the seasonal McBreakfast being offered up as value meal #5 right now. Once everything is thoroughly incorporated, pour into a pie crust and bake 45-60 minutes at 325.
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So what do you do for an hour? I mulled some cidar.
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You'll know it's done if you can slide a toothpick in the middle of the pie and pull it out without any of the filling sticking to it. Hay lookie! Pies are done.
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Here's the finished pie, cooled and ready to eat.
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And this thread would not be complete without ...
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fin
 

theacoustician

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Sep 30, 2004
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Cliffs of the recipe

1 1/2 cups pumpkin puree
1/2 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup heavy cream
7 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk
6 1/2 tablespoons evaporated milk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Pinch ground clove
Pinch salt
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
9-inch deep dish pie shell

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. In a
medium saucepan, mix together the pumpkin and sugar. Cook over
medium heat, stirring frequently, until reduced and thick, about 15
to 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cream, milks,
vanilla, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, salt, eggs, and yolk. Pour
the filling into the pie shell and bake until set, about 45 to 60
minutes. Cool and serve
 

theacoustician

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Sep 30, 2004
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I.C.Water said:
i was wonderin when you would un lock this :p
I was previewing it a bunch as I wrote it to see how it was looking and I fucked up once and hit submit. I'm completely high on turkey and gravy right now, so that my excuse.
 

I.C.Water

Flaccid Member
Oct 13, 2004
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theacoustician said:
I was previewing it a bunch as I wrote it to see how it was looking and I fucked up once and hit submit. I'm completely high on turkey and gravy right now, so that my excuse.

ya cant be worse than me
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:p
 
B

berzerker

Guest
Different than the pumpkin pie that I usually make, but looks tasty nevertheless.
 

Nyx

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Oct 14, 2004
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Planet Hell
Hmmm, makes me want to try making my pies from scratch next year, a very entertaining read :cool:

I really didn't think sandworms would be a hazard of pumpkin pie making unless you were doing it on Arrakis, and I didn't realize melange was a pie ingredient :confused: :fly:
 
G

Grunt

Guest
dreamwalker said:
Hmmm, makes me want to try making my pies from scratch next year, a very entertaining read :cool:

I really didn't think sandworms would be a hazard of pumpkin pie making unless you were doing it on Arrakis, and I didn't realize melange was a pie ingredient :confused: :fly:
I thought you only knew how to make cookies :confused:

:p
 

Nyx

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Oct 14, 2004
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Planet Hell
Grunt said:
I thought you only knew how to make cookies :confused:

:p

Hah, I made 5 pumpkin pies and a chocolate cake the evening before Thanksgiving :p Didn't go to nearly the work that theac did though, and I'm sure his were a lot better :cool:

Didn't have to make the whole meal because my family was invited to a friend's house, but my kids wanted my pumpkin pie, and not everyone who was there really likes pumpkin pie (including me).
 

BigDov

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
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I had heard a rumor there might be something like this in the works......... I have to admit, I haven't had a proper pumpking pie since I was a kid. Those look awesome!
 

BigDov

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
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I would like to know why the sand worm is from the silly Sci-Fi channel version of Dune and not the old 80's masterpiece??

Oh yeah, your pumpkin seeds made me think about when I made some this year- I put seasoning salt and a little cayenne pepper on them (we like lots of spicy around here) and in pure bast_imret fashion, made them disappear in one sitting :D
 

Nyx

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Oct 14, 2004
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Planet Hell
fly said:
5 star thread

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

(it was a 4 star, but the sand worm put it waaay over the top)

Didn't it though :lol:

I wonder what effect his pie might have on the rest of us, if sandworms are so attracted to it :eek: