Grizzly Man? More like Grizzly MAAAAHHHH!!!!! The Grizzly is eating my naughty bits!!

water

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Oct 29, 2004
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We watched Grizzly Man over the weekend. Current mood in reference: Indifferent with a chance of irritated.

Never before have I been so pleased to hear that a man was killed by a bear.

Timothy Treadwell is (was?) quite possibly the biggest douchecanoe to ever walk the Earth. He made it his personal mission in life to "save the grizzly bears" and the best way he came up with to do so? Go out and live like a bear. He spent 13 summers up in Alaska among Grizzly bears and became so arrogant and disconnected with reality that he honestly thought he was tougher than a Grizzly. INK, he really did say that he was more powerful than a 1,500lb born and bread killing machine, even though everyone knows the only things tougher than a Grizzly are Great White Sharks, Polar Bears, and Chuck Norris (not necessarily in that order).

I thought the movie was going to be more about Grizzly bears and less about liberal-tree hugging BS politics, but alas I was wrong. The entire movie is actually spent glorifying the rather pointless life of Timothy Treadwell, the whiniest man in history. Here's a short list of the things he whines about throughout the movie.

1) Not enough rain for the bears.
2) Too much rain falls and breaks his tent.
3) People living in Alaska.
4) People fishing in Alaska.
5) People.
6) Not being a bear himself.
7) Fox steals his hat (the only part of the movie that was funny because he freaks the hell out about it, cursing the Fox and everything that has ever existed).
8) The fact that he isn't gay (INK, he's actually mad that he isn't gay).
9) Everything that has ever existed beyond bears.

At one point Treadwell is going on about this rather large and aggressive female bear that is 10 feet behind him, and begins to slowly creep towards him in attack mode. Just in time (DANG!) he turns and starts talking to the bear and punches it in the nose, which surprises the bear so much that it gives a :thrawn: look and walks to find someone who doesn't have rabies to eat.

Movie summed up with a smiley: :tard:

edit: SPOILERS! He gets eaten by a bear. Through my super powers of being awesome I can tell you what the last thought through his head was "GAAAAH!!! IT HURTS! THIS IS (WAS?) A VERY BAD IDEA NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! I WISH I HAD A GUN! I NEED A GUN TO KILL THIS HORRIBLE BEAR THAT IS EATING ME!"
 
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When we were in Alaska, the guide on our train ride was asked about that guy.
All he could say is that everyone knew he would be killed by a bear. It was just a matter of when. He lasted way longer than most people expected him to.
 
When we were in Alaska, the guide on our train ride was asked about that guy.
All he could say is that everyone knew he would be killed by a bear. It was just a matter of when. He lasted way longer than most people expected him to.

Pretty much everyone they interviewed who wasn't an "ultra-greenie" Tim Treadwell-sack rider said that same thing. This one S&R helo pilot basically spent 5 minutes saying that Treadwell was either insane or mentally retarded. It was awesome.
 
edit: SPOILERS! He gets eaten by a bear. Through my super powers of being awesome I can tell you what the last thought through his head was "GAAAAH!!! IT HURTS! THIS IS (WAS?) A VERY BAD IDEA NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! I WISH I HAD A GUN! I NEED A GUN TO KILL THIS HORRIBLE BEAR THAT IS EATING ME!"
grizz.jpg

now that's a spoiler :lol:
 
"If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the Grizzly Bears have their picnic."