Geek Horoscopes

Sp`ange

Flaccid Member
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2005/01/horoscopes_20050107.html

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give a man a fishing rod, and he'll strangle you with the fishing line. Keep that in mind this week.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You will forget your New Year's resolution to stop reading horoscopes.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
You'll get kicked out of social studies class, because of your multiple mispronunciations of Phuket.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You'll realize that yet another year went by without donating that ten year old can of beans to the food bank. Maybe next year.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You'll start the new year off with a bang, unfortunately for you there were several witnesses.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
How were you supposed to know that "secret Santa" meant you weren't supposed to go down her chimney and hide behind her tree?


Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Your "I get wet for tsunamis" t-shirt doesn't seem to be selling too well in Jakarta. I wonder why.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
You'll end up with no Internet for the rest of the week after you confuse the LAN cable with a snake and chop its head off with a machete.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
With four teeth being removed this week, you'll discover amazing fact that Jello can be made without tequila.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Mmmm… powerful pain killers.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
The customer is always right, unless of course they are dealing with you.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Unfortunately for you, Time-Life Books isn't interested in your 17 volume series on The LAN Party. You'll have to find another publisher.

Gemini and Libra made me laugh.
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
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Steam
mattressfish
"You'll start the new year off with a bang, unfortunately for you there were several witnesses."
LOL
 
I

I Robert I

Guest
Gemini
May 21 - June 21
How were you supposed to know that "secret Santa" meant you weren't supposed to go down her chimney and hide behind her tree?

So fucking sue me!