You'd like Escape From Tarkov then. Widely know as one of the more realistic shooters out there.Bought Rainbow 6: Siege the other day. Entered the newcomers queue and promptly got killed 81 times in a row without even seeing my attacker.
Went back to the single player training tutorials, and got my ass stomped by the AI too. Taking me 3-5 times to get through each training situation.
I kinda like it, its like rainbow6 of old where combat is actually deadly. You get shot, you're done.