Early September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
My landlord asks a favor of me. He would like to sell his bar in Wisconsin, the Blind Pig Saloon, and believes having a website with pictures will increase his chances. He already owns the domain, www.blindpigsaloon.com, but he no longer has access to the email address listed in the registration.
9 September, 2007. Chicago North Shore suburb.
I use NetSol's "Customer Requested E-mail Address Change" page to request an email change. It asks me to print out the "Customer Requested E-mail Address Change" fax form and send it along with a signature and driver's license or passport.
My landlord has this domain listed with the address for his office. His license, naturally, has his home address. Logic would dictate that they want to know that the Dr G. W. requesting the email address change is the same Dr G. W. that faxes in the copy of his license. So I send them a copy of his license - with the home address - and a copy of a utility bill with the office address. This way Network Solutions has a photo ID with his name and a utility bill that has both his name and the address that matches their records.
18 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
Network Solutions sends me an email.
I call them to verify this information. They confirm. Now I should note that while the address on the utility bill was light it was easily legible to me. I can understand if the fax process made it too light to read. Not a big deal.
The signatures matched. He's a doctor, his signature sucks. It's a bunch of squiggly lines.
I get a different utility bill - with the same office address that matches the address in NetSol's records - and I have him sign the form again. Documents are faxed again on 24 September, 2007 at 10:09 AM Central Standard Time. Four pages are send to 1-571-434-4623. According to the fax machine, an HP Officejet 6110xi, the fax takes 55 seconds to complete and a confirmation page is printed.
26 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
I call Network Solutions to confirm receipt of the fax since I have yet to hear from them. They claim they did not receive the fax. Frak.
27 September, 2007. Grayslake, Illinois.
I fax all the documents again from a different location than the first. The fax machine only prints out transmission reports if the fax fails. No such report was printed making it a de facto confirmation.
29 September, 2007. Save-a-Pet in Grayslake, Illinois.
I find a kitty I like.
30 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
I call Network Solutions yet again. They continue to claim that no additional faxes have been received since the 18th despite the fact that I hold a confirmation page in my hand throughout the conversation. I am very angry and being to raise my voice. I pause and calmly ask for the supervisor because this girl probably does not get paid enough to listen to me bitch.
After waiting on hold for a couple minutes a guy named Marcus comes on the line. He is the supervisor and will help me from here. I explain the situation. He reiterates the company's position that no fax was ever received. I demand a solution. He gives me an escalation fax number and another "activity code" to reference on the fax and when I call back in the future.
I drive to a nearby office and fax them all the documents plus the confirmation page from the 24th.
Half an hour later I call back. They still haven't received the fax. I flip. They check again. Oops, there it is. Thanks.
About twenty minutes later I get this:
:thrawn: wait.....
One more time?
I call them back and once again speak to Marcus. Now Marcus is a nice guy, he's trying very hard to help me. But I am furious. This is retarded. This is idiotic. This is madness. This is Sparta.
I ask him to explain why the flying fuck he needs a utility bill with the address matching the license. He explains it's for verification. Verification of what? The address on his license is not related to the address on his account so how does having confirmation that he lives there help you verify that he's the same Dr G. W. that is the rightful owner of blindpigsaloon.com?
It's their policy.
Oh their policy! Ok. Why?
Excuse me?
Why is that your policy? How does it help you verify anything? The address on the account is on Baron. The address on the license is on Circle. The name and address on the utility bill match the name and address on the account. The name on the account matches the name on the photo ID. Thus it can be easily deduced that the individual at the address on the account is the same as the individual on the photo ID. Having a utility bill with the address on the license only serves to inform you that this person has a utility in his name at his home address. In no way does it relate to the address on the account so there is absolutely no need to have it.
But it's their policy.
I cannot request my landlord's home utility bill nor should I have to. He is unavailable and will be for a while - he's in another state trying to ready his bar to be sold - and that other utility bill does absolutely zero in terms of verifying that they need to know.
The conversation - or at least my end of it - was a lot more heated than is coming across in text form. I should note that I did apologize multiple times for yelling at Marcus and taking out my frustration on him. I explained that I understood he is not at fault and that my issue is with his employer, not him or his performance as a customer service supervisor.
I go through the logic of the scenario once more and ask him if he understands why the policy is completely and utterly stupid to the nth degree. He is unable or unwilling to concur. This call may be recorded.
He escalates the issue yet again but unfortunately his supervisor does not work on the weekends. There is no one above him. At the whole company.
So now I wait until tomorrow morning when I will call them at precisely 9:30 AM Eastern Standard Time (that should be plenty of time to have their first cup of coffee and get settled in). I will try to control my emotions and talk to them all Spock-like, using logic and reason to win over this basket of stupidity of a company.
My blood pressure is through the roof, I could really use a kitty to calm me down.
My landlord asks a favor of me. He would like to sell his bar in Wisconsin, the Blind Pig Saloon, and believes having a website with pictures will increase his chances. He already owns the domain, www.blindpigsaloon.com, but he no longer has access to the email address listed in the registration.
9 September, 2007. Chicago North Shore suburb.
I use NetSol's "Customer Requested E-mail Address Change" page to request an email change. It asks me to print out the "Customer Requested E-mail Address Change" fax form and send it along with a signature and driver's license or passport.
The bold part will be important in the near future.FAX FORM: Customer Requested E-mail Address Change said:The address on your driver's license or passport must match our records. If the address does not reflect what we have on file for your account please resubmit the fax authorization letter along with a copy of your photo ID and a copy of a utility bill in your name with the current address.
My landlord has this domain listed with the address for his office. His license, naturally, has his home address. Logic would dictate that they want to know that the Dr G. W. requesting the email address change is the same Dr G. W. that faxes in the copy of his license. So I send them a copy of his license - with the home address - and a copy of a utility bill with the office address. This way Network Solutions has a photo ID with his name and a utility bill that has both his name and the address that matches their records.
18 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
Network Solutions sends me an email.
Bastards said:Dear Gxxxx Wxxxxxx,
Thank you for contacting Network Solutions. Your fax has been received by the Fax Processing Department. We are committed to creating the best Customer experience possible.
We apologize, but we are unable to process your request due to the reason(s) listed below.
Signature Mismatch
Please update your form with an authorized signature that will exactly match with the signature on your ID.
Missing Utility Bill
Since the address on your identification does not match the information we have on file, please supply a utility bill that includes your name and address, as shown on your identification.
Note : The address on the Utility Bill you sent us was illegible.
Please re-submit your fax request in its entirety, with the additional information, as outlined above, to 571-434-4623. Incomplete faxes or multiple submissions will not be processed. Please allow 24 hours for your fax request to be reviewed. Once reviewed, we will contact you with further information concerning your request.
For inquiries regarding this matter, please refer to Service Request # 1-xxxxxxxxx.
We hope this information has been helpful. However, if you have any additional questions, please don't hesitate to contact our Customer Service Department. For your convenience, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at 1-888-642-9675. If you are calling from outside the U.S. or Canada, please call 1-570-708-8788 or e-mail us at [email protected].
Sincerely,
FAXSUP001
Fax Processing Specialist
Network Solutions
I call them to verify this information. They confirm. Now I should note that while the address on the utility bill was light it was easily legible to me. I can understand if the fax process made it too light to read. Not a big deal.
The signatures matched. He's a doctor, his signature sucks. It's a bunch of squiggly lines.
I get a different utility bill - with the same office address that matches the address in NetSol's records - and I have him sign the form again. Documents are faxed again on 24 September, 2007 at 10:09 AM Central Standard Time. Four pages are send to 1-571-434-4623. According to the fax machine, an HP Officejet 6110xi, the fax takes 55 seconds to complete and a confirmation page is printed.
26 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
I call Network Solutions to confirm receipt of the fax since I have yet to hear from them. They claim they did not receive the fax. Frak.
27 September, 2007. Grayslake, Illinois.
I fax all the documents again from a different location than the first. The fax machine only prints out transmission reports if the fax fails. No such report was printed making it a de facto confirmation.
29 September, 2007. Save-a-Pet in Grayslake, Illinois.
I find a kitty I like.
30 September, 2007. Far north suburbs of Chicago.
I call Network Solutions yet again. They continue to claim that no additional faxes have been received since the 18th despite the fact that I hold a confirmation page in my hand throughout the conversation. I am very angry and being to raise my voice. I pause and calmly ask for the supervisor because this girl probably does not get paid enough to listen to me bitch.
After waiting on hold for a couple minutes a guy named Marcus comes on the line. He is the supervisor and will help me from here. I explain the situation. He reiterates the company's position that no fax was ever received. I demand a solution. He gives me an escalation fax number and another "activity code" to reference on the fax and when I call back in the future.
I drive to a nearby office and fax them all the documents plus the confirmation page from the 24th.
Half an hour later I call back. They still haven't received the fax. I flip. They check again. Oops, there it is. Thanks.
About twenty minutes later I get this:
Douchenozzles said:Dear Gxxxx Wxxxxxx,
Thank you for contacting Network Solutions. Your fax has been received by the Fax Processing Department. We are committed to creating the best Customer experience possible.
We apologize, but we are unable to process your request due to the reason(s) listed below.
Invalid Utility Bill
Since the address on your identification does not match the information we have on file, please supply a utility bill that includes your name and address, as shown on your identification.[editor's note: emphasis theirs]
Please re-submit your fax request in its entirety, with the additional information, as outlined above, to 571-434-4623. Incomplete faxes or multiple submissions will not be processed. Please allow 24 hours for your fax request to be reviewed. Once reviewed, we will contact you with further information concerning your request.
For inquiries regarding this matter, please refer to Service Request # 1-xxxxxxxxx.
We hope this information has been helpful. However, if you have any additional questions, please don't hesitate to contact our Customer Service Department. For your convenience, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at 1-888-642-9675. If you are calling from outside the U.S. or Canada, please call 1-570-708-8788 or e-mail us at [email protected].
Sincerely,
Fax Processing Specialist
Network Solutions
[email protected]
www.networksolutions.com
:thrawn: wait.....
Since the address on your identification does not match the information we have on file, please supply a utility bill that includes your name and address, as shown on your identification.
One more time?
Since the address on your identification does not match the information we have on file, please supply a utility bill that includes your name and address, as shown on your identification.
I call them back and once again speak to Marcus. Now Marcus is a nice guy, he's trying very hard to help me. But I am furious. This is retarded. This is idiotic. This is madness. This is Sparta.
I ask him to explain why the flying fuck he needs a utility bill with the address matching the license. He explains it's for verification. Verification of what? The address on his license is not related to the address on his account so how does having confirmation that he lives there help you verify that he's the same Dr G. W. that is the rightful owner of blindpigsaloon.com?
It's their policy.
Oh their policy! Ok. Why?
Excuse me?
Why is that your policy? How does it help you verify anything? The address on the account is on Baron. The address on the license is on Circle. The name and address on the utility bill match the name and address on the account. The name on the account matches the name on the photo ID. Thus it can be easily deduced that the individual at the address on the account is the same as the individual on the photo ID. Having a utility bill with the address on the license only serves to inform you that this person has a utility in his name at his home address. In no way does it relate to the address on the account so there is absolutely no need to have it.
But it's their policy.
I cannot request my landlord's home utility bill nor should I have to. He is unavailable and will be for a while - he's in another state trying to ready his bar to be sold - and that other utility bill does absolutely zero in terms of verifying that they need to know.
The conversation - or at least my end of it - was a lot more heated than is coming across in text form. I should note that I did apologize multiple times for yelling at Marcus and taking out my frustration on him. I explained that I understood he is not at fault and that my issue is with his employer, not him or his performance as a customer service supervisor.
I go through the logic of the scenario once more and ask him if he understands why the policy is completely and utterly stupid to the nth degree. He is unable or unwilling to concur. This call may be recorded.
He escalates the issue yet again but unfortunately his supervisor does not work on the weekends. There is no one above him. At the whole company.
So now I wait until tomorrow morning when I will call them at precisely 9:30 AM Eastern Standard Time (that should be plenty of time to have their first cup of coffee and get settled in). I will try to control my emotions and talk to them all Spock-like, using logic and reason to win over this basket of stupidity of a company.
My blood pressure is through the roof, I could really use a kitty to calm me down.
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